September 21, 2007

The family's coming, pull out the stretchable pants!

Why is it that when we have people from out of town come to visit, we ourselves pretend that we are on vacation too? Here's the scenario: my family is from Tennessee, so we don't get to visit as often as I'd like. They recently came out for a weekend visit with goals to: discover the biggest, best steak they've ever consumed, compete amongst the family who could eat three giant meals a day, plus snacks, and still fit in the same pants at the end of the weekend that they started with at the beginning and most importantly, to go back to Tennessee so full of Texas eats and baked goods that I prepared for their visit that they could not eat a single cracker for 2 months.
Of course I was up for the eating competition, even though I've lived here long enough to know what my family's favorites would be....and that was the problem. Because Abilene is lucky enough to have so many great restaurants, this made it very difficult to decide where to eat everyday. So like every other American family does, we planned each day around our meals. We woke up, ate, did stuff, ate lunch, did more stuff, who wants ice cream, more stuff, need a cookie, did stuff again, had dinner, don't forget dessert, did a few more things, bed time, bed time snack, repeat tomorrow.
Who's the guy that said only 3 square meals a day? There should be 12 meals plus snacks! I wanted my family to get to taste all our great town had to offer in a very limited amount of time. Therefore, all we could do naturally was stuff ourselves silly like we'd never seen a t-bone, a taco or chicken fried steak in our lives. We had to consume it all so we could say we did and feel whalish and miserable when it was time for them to depart, yea! No, really, we did do some fabulous eating, and my dad discovered the best steak he's ever consumed, so I think some did achieve their goals. I, myself, had to starve 3 weeks leading up to their arrival so my stomach could be completly empty enough to handle the 27 t bones. Unfortunatley, I'm still working to get those pants that I wore before the visit back on, until then I'll be comfy in the stretchables!

August 16, 2007

My Problem With An Easy Solution

Ok, here's my problem: my husband is in the Air Force and is currently deployed overseas. Yes, while this in itself might seem problematic enough, the main issue at hand is my overwhelming obsession with baking. You see, it's very therapeutic for me. When I get lonely or bored I go to the grocery store. Yep, that's where you'll most likely find me on a Friday evening. While everyone else is celebrating the end of a long work week, I'm arming myself with that weekend's goodie supply. There's just something about getting in the kitchen and creating something from scratch; not saying that licking the bowl is not one of the main reasons I bake, but taking an idea and forming a yummy product is very rewarding! Yes, I'm a dork, but I'm a dork with brownies, who's making fun now?!
Now that I've addressed the problem, I'll give you my easy solution: co-workers. Needless to say, I'm slowly becoming quite popular due to the overwhelming stash of baked goods displayed weekly on our office countertops. These are my guinea pigs; my test subjects. While they can't stress enough how I should NOT be bringing these yummy desserts into their lair, they seem to make them dissappear with great ease. That's really the reason I do it. Unless I want to triple my size before my husband returns, I must learn to share my creations. You see, I'm one of those people who makes a big batch "to try." I'm a sampler, I love buffets. I just want a taste; if it's good I'll put it in the file to make later for a group, or when I have a major craving for a large supply of chocolate. I'm all about making easy sweets that people enjoy and can make themselves. I've become the office Martha Stewart, minus 30 years and the felony charges, and I'm fine with that. People may think I'm crazy because I'd rather kick off my shoes after a long work day and spend the entire evening inventing recipes in the kitchen. To those people I say, no cookies for you.

June 22, 2007

What Irks My soul about drive-thrus

Ok, so this morning I'm out early running errands for work. Knowing that I won't be in the office for awhile, I jet over to "the Golden Arches" for my morning cup of joe. Granted, I normally am a morning person, but I'm a verrry happy morning person after my morning brew. This is an added bonus for those that come into contact with me on a daily basis in the a.m.; without the coffee I'm just Emily.

So, anyway, I pull into the drive-thru and immediately know there is a problem, because no one is infront of me. (I'll explain, don't worry). Problem 1: the little alien boxes where you are supposed to be talking to another human hardly ever work unless you hang your entire body out your car window and yell your order. (Usually it's raining when you have to do this).After a successful order placement. the creature on the other end tells me what window to pull to, which of course I can't understand!

Oh no. This is where the big problem comes into play. Problem 2: if you pull to window 1 and they said window 2, there you are, sitting there in your car looking confused with no one there to take your money. But, if you go to window 2, flying by window 1... then you've done it, because by now there is someone behind you- you can't back up, and the people at window 2 are unequipped to take your cash, they just look at you all weird cause you did it wrong. That's why you need the car infront of you when you enter a drive-thru, just follow their lead.

Problem 3: After lapping the building, confusing the order system all together and finally arriving at the appropriate window, you are forced to beg for sugar. Yes, it's come to this people. We must beg for our condiments! Then they ask "how many?" Um... "I'd like 27 for my small cup, please." No, 2 usually does me fine but if it's an exceptionally nice food handler I'll ask for a little more and take the leftovers and make a stash so I don't have to beg for my sugar again in the near future.

Problem 4: Who is the person that decided every drive-thru needed a large pot hole at the end of it? Here I am celebrating because my drive-thru experience is complete and there I go falling into the hole and spilling my coffee. Yes, I was putting the sugar in the cup while driving; the top was removed and half of my beverage is now on my pants.

Maybe this is a good reason to avoid fast food! Besides the fact that most the items served would require you to run to San Angelo and back to work it off; the drive-thru can be a very tramatizing experience! Next time I'll just go inside to order, I need the exercise.

June 21, 2007

Oh the joys of the grill

Why are we intimidated by the grill? Yes, it does involve fire, smoke, gas, sharp objects and usually the largest swarm of mosquitos in the southern hemisphere, but you get to enjoy one of life's summertime pleasures, grilling the burger. Why is it always a burger anyway? Are people really afraid to venture to other edible items like chicken, pork, veggies or heaven-forbid, the barbeque rib? Ribs.. oh, those should come with a warning label- WARNING: MIGHT TASTE LIKE THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOE WHEN COOKED.

I, for one, am a little scared of the rib grilling mainly because I want to eat NOW and eating now is a big no-no for cooking ribs. I smell them cooking and I want to eat that instant, not 4 long and slow hours from now. I could drive to the nearest BBQ joint, chow down on my ribs that don't taste like worn rubber, run around my neighorhood for 3 hours, work up another rib appetite and still I would have to wait for my ribs, that my dog wouldn't even chew on, to finish cooking!

That's why those BBQ joints start cooking at un-godly hours like 4 a.m. Their bodies are still in sleep mode when they throw the ribs on the grill, meaning their stomachs are unaware that their bodies are interacting with food. This causes their stomachs to just disregard the whole "feed me now I smell food" idea because it's 4 a.m. and who eats barbeque ribs at 4 a.m? Ice cream, yes, cereal, sometimes, chocolate pie, every now and then, ribs, not- so-much. They can allow their ribs to cook for 12 hours or so while they take a nap.

That's my problem, I'm impatient when it comes to cooking, so tackeling ribs on the grill is not my thing. I'm not committed to spending an entire day around food that I can only look at and not eat until the sun goes down.Thank goodness for great Texas BBQ! Yes, I admit it, my name is Emily and I'm way to impatient to grill ribs.