American Idols: How the candidates measure up
By Erin Steele
March 1, 2007
Considering more people vote for "American Idol" contenders than presidential candidates, we decided that perhaps the best way to get out the vote is to put this whole election charade into perspective: Really, there's very little difference between our favorite singers and our picks for politicians. Except, you know, singers just make CDs, while presidents run the country. Aside from that, though, they're really very similar. We'll prove it.
Here's a look at a few of the candidates who have placed their hats in the ring for the 2008 presidential election and their "American Idol" counterparts. Or doppelgangers, if you will. That's a fun word, don't you think?
THE DEMOCRATS
Hillary Clinton & Clay Aiken
Just like Aiken, Hillary has staunch supporters (though maybe not as crazy as the Claymates) and equally emphatic detractors ... but hopefully no scandalous text messages about secret hookups in North Carolina hotel rooms, if you get my drift (that’s more Bill’s speed, anyway). And though Aiken was the clear favorite in season two of “Idol,” he eventually lost the contest to Ruben Studdard; will Hillary face the same fate thanks to Obama? - ES
Barack Obama & Kelly Clarkson
Obamania appears unstoppable. Like Clarkson, he's America's sweetheart. Clarkson was the first of her kind -- the first American Idol -- and charmed every crowd member with her likability and talent. After her win and first album, she continued to gain more fans by ultimately being true to herself (pretend "From Justin to Kelly" never happened). Sound familiar?
Obama captured Democrats' attentions at the '04 Democratic Convention (forget about his unsuccessful run for the House in 2000), gained a strong following and track record, gained even more fans by being the only potential nominee that opposed the Iraq War in the first place, and is the first black candidate to actually have a prayer at getting the nomination.
He's not perfect -- you wouldn't pick him or Clarkson out of a crowd as someone with star power -- but he's just so likable. And really, who would want to see Clay Aiken in concert when they could see Kelly Clarkson instead? - SC
John Edwards & Fantasia Barrino
The Carolinas sure do produce rags-to-riches stories. Edwards is the offspring of a textile mill worker and postal employee in South Carolina. At 17, Fantasia was an unwed mother and high school dropout in North Carolina.
With the help of a lucky break (well, Edwards went to college and law school and worked his way up from there), they climbed their way to the top -- all the while reminding the public of their humble beginnings. Sympathy votes from their fellow "common man"? Or actual talent? It's hard to tell, but at least Fantasia won her battle. Edwards teamed up with another candidate living in his past, and their campaign platform sunk faster than a swift boat. Fantasia's first album was a hit, but her second flopped. Now that Edwards has ditched his "Small Town" theme song, can he pull off another comeback? -SC
THE REPUBLICANS
Rudy Guiliani & Frenchie Davis
When season two of “American Idol” kicked off, nearly every fan placed odds on Frenchie Davis as the future winner -- and then swiftly lost that bet after topless photos of the up-and-coming singer surfaced. Likewise, Guiliani has long been America’s fan fave, thanks to his quirky personality, tough talk and most importantly, his admirable response in the aftermath of 9/11. Unfortunately for Rudy, his past is not as impressive as his political presence -- he’s been married three times, with marriage No. 2 ending after reports of his affair with Judith Nathan, now wife No. 3.
Frenchie went on to perform on Broadway in “Rent” while Rudy has prepped himself for his White House bid (in essence, both are involved in show biz). But can Guiliani remain America’s idol with a less-than-idyllic personal life? -ES
John McCain & Taylor Hicks
They both appear to be very, very happy with themselves much of the time. They both often defy the industry in which they exist (McCain by not always catering to his friends on the far right; Hicks by looking like a high school calculus teacher but still managing to sell records). And they both seem way, way older than they actually are (though McCain IS pretty old. Let’s admit it).
No one thought Hicks had it in him to be the “Idol” champ, but lo and behold -- come season five, Hicks was wearing the crown. And while many believe McCain is losing his often anti-politics-as-usual edge, the old man still may have some fight left in him: The Swift Vets and POWs for Truth attacked McCain in 2000 (almost as voraciously as their 2004 follow-up campaign against John Kerry) and he still came out swinging, proving even the most tasteless smear campaigns can’t keep him down. If McCain can survive that, he can survive anything. Just like Hicks prevailed over the McPheever. OK. it's a stretch. But still. -ES
Mitt Romney & Katharine McPhee
Just when you think you know who the finalists will be, there's always one who comes out of nowhere, giving you a run for your money by wooing the crowd. Sure, they're bland and have nothing new to offer -- but they've got the support they need and the right investors to take them to the finals.
The McPheever nearly took Taylor Hicks down, but Mitt Romney likely won't make it as far. He's got money, but unfortunately, millions of Americans are scared to death of Mormons. It's true. McPhee just had an eating disorder, and really, who hasn't seen that after-school special? No, Romney's Mormoninity (not to mention switching his opinions on abortion and gay rights overnight) will kill his chance for the spotlight. McPhee's album hit No. 2, and she's still bland, but at least she's not Mormon. Sorry, Mitt. - SC
Previous Entry:
« Prove Sarah and Erin Wrong (C'mon, Abilene!)
Next Entry:
Spidey Love »
Comments
This site does not necessarily agree with comments posted below -- responsibility lies with the relevant reader alone.
Posted by: Daniel Johnson on March 20, 2007 1:43 AM
Man that is witty, entertaining and humorous. Although my knowledge of American Idol is about the same as my knowledge of sub-African tribes' mating rituals, the comparison worked wittingly well.
Well done, and if I could add a section it would be Al Gore similarities to idol loser William Hung. Although Gore lost in 2000 and Hung did not make it to Hollywood, they both gained the "popular vote" by finding success by becoming Hollywood's whores.
Posted by: Juanita on April 10, 2007 1:58 PM
It's true Fantasio dropped out, but went back to finish & got her degree.