Chris Rock's DNA causes seizures
By Erin Steele
March 29, 2007
Apparently, Chris Rock's movies aren't the only things that cause seizures. The comic's ex-girlfriend, Kali Bowyer, with whom he had a relationship in the early '90s, wants Rock to submit DNA to prove he is the father of her 13-year-old son.
The reason? The teen suffers from seizures and doctors need a full medical background to determine the best treatment, according to this article.
The only thing more embarrassing than finding out you unknowingly fathered a child is knowing that your DNA caused him brain damage. Maybe it's the same kind of brain damage that tells you it's a good idea to star in a movie like "I Think I Love My Wife." Or "Down to Earth." Or "Lethal Weapon 4." Based on those choices alone, I think it's safe to say he's the father.
Plus, how can you doubt the credibility of a woman who does interviews with the National Enquirer and tells them this:
Bowyer, who lives in Georgia, told the National Enquirer she met Rock at an L.A. nightclub in the early 90s and slept together for the first time on her 21st birthday.
Yes, I too have stopped writing entries in my diary and go straight to the tabloids these days. But for some reason, they don't want to publish my stories about birthing Pauly Shore's three-headed demon lovechild. Jerks.
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