Midnight Rodeo: The Review
By Sarah Carlson
March 6, 2007
Acting on the desire to prove ourselves wrong, we decided to show that there's plenty to do in Abilene, namely to attend the opening of Midnight Rodeo (stop laughing), on the corner of South 2nd and How Did My Life Get This Way. Unfortunately, we like to go to clubs at a desirable hour in the evening -- you know, like when the sun has actually set. We arrived at about 11:15 p.m. to find the kind of line last seen in post-Communist Russia. While we'd like to tell you all about the club, we can only tell you about the sidewalk. We hope you enjoy.
Erin: Hey, Sarah, what did you think of the sidewalk at Midnight Rodeo?
Sarah: Well, Erin, it was cold. And hard. And smoke-filled. And below freezing.
Erin: I thought it was magical in that enchanting-melding-of-pleather-spandex-and-puffy-down-vests kind of way. It's rare to see all three fabrics in one place. Other than the thrift store.
Sarah: I agree. I especially dug the Batman baseball cap the Creepy Older Man next to me in line wore. It really stood out against the night sky as he kept elbowing me for no reason. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Erin: When did Creepy Older Men become its own demographic? They're everywhere. Make it stop! But that's an aside. I think what we really learned from the sidewalk is that if we don't want to stare at it all night, perhaps we should arrive sometime around 4 p.m.
Sarah: Touché. Apparently the alternatives our fellow club-goers opted for, after giving up on standing in line, were IHOP, the nearby club Stairs or loudly demanding someone pull their car up to the curb and turn their music up so they could dance. We all want to hear "some young Jay-Z" every now and then, don't we?
Erin: No, not really.
Sarah: At least we got to see the ... what did you call it, E?
Erin: The doorway to hell, which is actually the doorway to club Caliente next door, which is now what I'm calling hell. The Devil wears belt buckles and a belly full of booze. Hot.
Sarah: What was hot was the drunken woman who flung herself out the door after her departing friends, informing the entire line that she wanted one more dance to her favorite song. And she was never heard from again ...
Erin: Why would you go back in after you just escaped? For real. If someone told me my grandma was on fire in that club, I'd be like 'Nice knowing you, old lady!'
Sarah: RIP, Erin's grandma. I'm not going in, either.
Erin: More disturbing than a burning grandma is the fact that everyone who got to the door immediately turned away. I was starting to wonder if there was an invisible fence in the doorway that shocked anyone wearing polyester and/or a Batman cap.
Sarah: While that's a good idea, it was more fun to realize that the screaming 18-year-olds were smarter than us and, upon seeing the line that continued inside, left the scene. We didn't leave until 12:10 a.m.
Erin: 18-year-olds are not smarter than us. They just have better vision.
Sarah: Maybe the spandex blinded us from the reality that was the situation: We weren't going to make it inside to beat the 1 a.m. close.
Erin: Abilene: The City That Always Sleeps.
Sarah: The End.
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Comments
This site does not necessarily agree with comments posted below -- responsibility lies with the relevant reader alone.
Posted by: Spender on March 8, 2007 1:59 PM
So, it's now called "Midnight Rodeo"? Jeez, whatever the name, it's still one of The Official Portals Into Hell. I spent seven years in Abilene, working as PD for Classic Rock 102, the Bear... and went so freaking stir-crazy that I had to move to Auckland, New Zealand. Good to know that someone is still braving the elements (meteorological and social) to report from the Buckle of The Bible Belt. Hey... PLEASE report from the Sweetwater Rattlesnake Roundup, ok? People NEED to know about this cultural phenomenon!
Posted by: Chuck Thunder on March 13, 2007 10:53 AM
Well, I guess if you so called journalist would have let someone know you were there, you would have been brought in on a vip. you might try a little communication next time.
Posted by: Spender on March 13, 2007 4:24 PM
Whoa up, there... errm...Mr. Thunder. A journalist doesn't ask for special VIP status. A journalist experiences what it's like for the average Joe and/or Jane then reports on it. That is honest reportage and Sarah should be commended for telling it like it is.
Posted by: Air Force Wife on March 28, 2007 11:09 AM
That was only opening night, I guess because so many people were excited and wanted to go. I went the 3rd weekend and I had sooo much fun. I hate Abilene and it's pathetic so-called nightlife. I'm from the NYC area so the club scene and nightlife I'm used to is so much better than Abilene's nonsense, but Midnight Rodeo (the hip-hop room, I don't know about the Mexican-music room or the country music room) actually made me feel a little bit closer to home. A little bit.
Posted by: Air Force Wife 2 on April 3, 2007 9:20 AM
Thank you Air Force Wife (the original). For those of us drug into this "city" kicking and screaming against our will, PLEASE PLEASE open something up that fits the demographic and that does not include 18 year olds. I'm from the midwest, not even NYC. So...that's saying a lot!
The demand is there--why else would everyone be driving to Dallas or Austin every weekend? The Warehouse is getting it...too bad they charge WAY too much for a tiny martini and are only open 1 night a week.
We can sit and wait...I guess...