The Molestobot 3000
By Erin Steele
March 28, 2007
Imagine the scariest thing ever. Then imagine being stuck in the desert with a gigantic Michael Jackson robot. That's totally worse, right!
Yes, it's true. In his continuing quest for the title of world's craziest, uh, thing, the rotting mound of flesh that calls itself Michael Jackson wants to erect a 50-foot robotic replica of himself in Las Vegas, meaning Tokyo will no longer boast the world's most terrifying robotic monster. I think it's time for a death match between Godzilla and Godcomplexzilla. But I highly suggest that Godzilla leave his children at home during the battle. You know, just in case.
If Las Vegas has any love for its tourists, it will abort. ABORT, I say! Can you imagine flying to Vegas, and the first thing you see as you look out the window is a giant robot shooting lasers at you? Forget for a minute that it's a Michael Jackson robot ... even if it was a Mark Wahlbot, I would say, "No good, friends. Let's rethink this." Plus, from where, exactly, will the lasers shoot? That wasn't mentioned, and I think it's something we should contemplate before unsuspecting gamblers get a laser beam to the head courtesy of the Molestobot's less savory parts. I'm just saying.
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