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Archive : April 2007

April 30, 2007

Indian Attacks! Talking Holograms! Scalps! Oh My!

ProveUsScalps.jpgAt left: Us at Frontier Texas! a few weekends ago, looking in horror at ACTUAL HUMAN SCALPS on display. Our trip to the Texas history museum was only one of our Prove Us Wrong activities that we'll talk about this Sunday. Be sure to check out the Sunday Life section and here for our run-down of what we found to occupy our time this month. We'll have more photos and a video of us in martial arts training. We're pretty horrible, so laughing at our attempts to actually hit a target with a kick should provide you plenty of fodder for hours. Days, even. Stay tuned!

A Message of Hate for the Weather Gods

Weatherlogo.jpgDear Weather Channel and/or Suddenlink Communications,

As I sat on my couch last night watching "Brothers & Sisters" and recording "The Tudors" (you can't beat a soapy, modern-day family drama as a lead-in to a look at the mother of all dysfunctional families), my TV was attacked by the Emergency Alert System (EAS). I lost control of the remote; the channel was automatically changed to the Weather Channel, and I couldn't turn it back until your stupid EAS message warning me about thunderstorms in Merkel was over. Oh, and each time the message took my TV hostage, my DVR would stop recording. This made for an expletive-filled evening as I frantically tried to get back to my scheduled programming while not missing major plot points. (I knew "B&S's" Rebecca wasn't innocent! I totally did not know that Lord on "TT" was gay!)

Why did you hijack my TV, Weather People? Why can't a crawl on the bottom of the screen warning me of thunderstorms -- as if I couldn't hear them -- suffice? I had already used the Internet -- a magical series of tubes you should consider sticking with -- to check up on the weather. That was my TV time you invaded. Mine. I'm obviously addicted and in need of help, so why would you twist the knife further and rob me of my much-need soap fix?

I'll get to the bottom of this -- trust me. For now, Weather Channel, you're dead to me. I'll no longer be in need of your services. Need to know what the weather is like? Step outside and take a guess. It worked for centuries.

April 26, 2007

Take Me Away -- I Don't Mind -- But You Better Promise Me I'll Be Back in Time

The only thing more unbelievable than Jessica Biel dating Nicolas Cage? Time travel! Yet Hollywood has made a fortune on the topic. In honor of “Next” opening in theaters this weekend, here’s a look at our favorite time-bending travel flicks. -- Erin Steele and Sarah Carlson

0426deadzone_color.jpgTHE DEAD ZONE
Why it’s great: First of all, it features Christopher Walken in quasi-crazy mode, and you can’t go wrong there. Plus, Walken’s character, Johnny Smith, is a schoolteacher turned psychic detective, which is a pretty awesome career change, I have to say. But the best part is how Smith not only sees people’s futures (by coming in physical contact with them; let’s hope this power doesn’t fall into the wrong hands) but tries to change their fates. Now that’s cool.
It's time for a fun fact! This film (and the novel by Stephen King) are both loosely based upon the life of famous psychic Peter Hurkos.

0426bill_color.jpgBILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
Why it’s great: High school can be torture, especially when a student’s ticket to graduation is an oral history presentation before the entire school (San-Dimas-High-School-football-rules!). Fortunately for Ted “Theodore” Logan (Keanu Reeves) and Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter), a phone booth time machine transports them through time to collect colorful characters — Napoleon, Joan of Arc, Genghis Khan, Socrates, etc. — to help them make the grade. Long live Wyld Stallyns.
It's time for a fun fact! The footage for Napoleon's battle in Austria was taken from the 1956 American movie “War and Peace.”

0426groundhog_color.jpgGROUNDHOG DAY
Why it’s great: A comedy classic, “Groundhog Day” features Bill Murray reliving the titular time period over and over and over. You’d think this would make the film a one-note joke, but you’d be wrong: The movie wrings numerous laughs from our anti-hero’s unfortunate fate. Also boasting a surprisingly touching relationship between Murray and the usually wooden Andie MacDowell, “Groundhog Day” is a movie well worth revisiting.
It's time for a fun fact! Director Harold Ramis originally wanted Tom Hanks for the lead role, but decided against it, saying that Hanks was "too nice.”

0426going_color.jpg13 GOING ON 30
Why it’s great: When 13-year-old Jenna is granted her wish to become “thirty, flirty and thriving,” she’s got to survive the future corporate world with her teenage mind and adult body. Scary, but hey, at least she gets to look like Jennifer Garner and make out with Mark Ruffalo. Life can’t be that bad. Jenna infuses everything around her with a palpable vibrancy, reminding us all that it’s important not to forget the innocence and optimism of our youth.
It's time for a fun fact! The Poise article that Jenna is reading at 13 ("Thirty, Flirty & Thriving"), features the apartment that she later lives in at 30.

0426back.jpgBACK TO THE FUTURE
Why it’s great: Always entertaining and endlessly quotable, the “Back to the Future” series (perhaps minus the second installment) may be the pinnacle of cinematic odes to time travel, not to mention a key player in big-budget '80s films that ushered in the blockbuster era. Who hasn’t wanted a flying DeLorean? Who hasn’t said “Great Scot!” or mumbled something about their flux capacitor when their uncool car wasn’t working? No one. Marty McFly is everyone’s hero.
It's time for a fun fact! The chime of the Clock Tower in 1955 is intentionally the same as the chime in the 1960 movie “The Time Machine.”

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 26, 2007 12:18 AM

Not Showing at a Theater Near You: "Diggers"

0426diggers_color.jpg"Diggers" opens in limited release Friday, and though you won’t find it here (for now), this engaging tribute to Long Island clamdiggers is worth checking out if you stumble across it. Here’s a look at a Q&A with the filmmakers and stars of the film, who attended this year’s South by Southwest film festival in Austin.

AUSTIN — In the Omni Austin Downtown, the cast and crew behind two of the South by Southwest film festival's biggest showcases, "Diggers" and "The Ten," have gathered after a long night of karaoke.

David Wain, Paul Rudd, Ken Marino and Katherine Dieckmann all sit around a conference table in the upscale hotel, the quartet's drollness undulled by drowsiness. Even after a late night of belting out who knows how many hours of tunes, the gang is still on their game.

"It was awesome. Karaoke is always awesome," Rudd said. "Actually, it's not always awesome. But it was awesome."

It's hard to say for sure if Rudd meant what he said, since he's spent the past few years in the company of Wain and Marino as part of the group's "State" company, which has crafted such camp classics as "Wet Hot American Summer."

But the group was more than happy to show off its more serious side — at least on film. The festival screened "Diggers," a drama written by Marino, directed by Dieckmann, produced by Wain and starring Marino and Rudd that tells the story of 1970s Long Island clamdiggers struggling to make ends meet. The film is based on Marino's childhood memories of growing up in New York.

Q: How personal of a story is "Diggers" for you, and what made you decide it was the right time in your career to tell it?

KM: I wanted to write a screenplay, and they always say write what you know. So I wrote what I remembered growing up; I wrote about a time and place that's special to me. And that's the story that came out.

PR: Because your father and grandfather were clamdiggers.

KM: Yes.

KD: He had a personal connection to the story.

KM: I haven't had my coffee yet.

Q: Did you already have an idea of who you wanted for certain roles while you were writing the screenplay?

KM: I didn't write any parts with anybody in mind. The only part I wrote with somebody in mind was Cons, Josh Hamilton's part: I wrote it for Peter Dinklage. But in pre-production, Peter got a TV show, and he couldn't get out of it. And so Josh came in and saved the day. And now I can't see anyone else playing that part other than Josh. And Peter Dinklage.

PR: I can still see Peter Dinklage.

DW: I could also see Ryan Reynolds doing it.

PR: I could see Ryan Reynolds playing the part.

KM: I can't. He's big. He's too big.

DW: You know who else I could see playing that part? Brent Spiner. Or Adam Arkin.

PR: Ooh, Adam Arkin. I love Adam Arkin.

KD: I think of Peter Dinklage when I look at certain shots in the movie. Like the one shot in the funeral home. If you were doing a foreshot with four actors, you'd have to frame it differently.

DW: If one of them is half the height.

PR: Then you'd be framing it for three-and-a-half actors.

DW: That's a good show, "Three-and-a-Half Actors."

PR: It got picked up for another season, guys! I've got the first season on DVD.

— Erin Steele

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 26, 2007 12:16 AM

April 25, 2007

Our No. 1 Threat is Just So Darn Cute

This doesn't have anything to do with anything, but I thought I'd pass along this video of the polar bear Knut -- you know, the one that several frakking Nazis wanted to kill in the name of Mother Nature or some sort of "Reich" -- I'm not sure. Knut has apparently been dubbed "Germany's most famous orphan," has been at the center of an animal rights debate and recently received a death threat. Seriously, Germany: What's going on? It's a bear. It's cute, but it's a bear. Just let it live at the zoo and leave it alone.

This YouTube gem is one of MANY videos dedicated to this creature, who is adorable now but will one day grow into a merciless killer. I'm just sad America doesn't have a similar mascot.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 25, 2007 10:53 PM

Release Round-Up

It's relatively a slow week, so here's a look at a few new releases:

DVDs

0426Queen.jpgTHE QUEEN
Biopics are growing a tad stale — as are the award shows that kowtow to them — but Stephen Frears’ “The Queen” stands head and shoulders above the lot thanks to its strong screenplay and a brilliant performance by Helen Mirren, who eerily embodies Queen Elizabeth II. Examining the aftermath of events in the wake of Princess Diana’s death in 1997, the film gives a surprisingly balanced look at the stoic monarch’s desire to remain silent in the face of tragedy.


0426NightMuseum.jpgNIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
Good grief, a lot of you went and saw this movie. Considering its nearly $570 million worldwide box office haul, you can now expect idiotic sequels for the next several summers. I’m holding out for “Night at the Taxidermist’s: When Animals Stuff Back.”

Also in stores: "Deja Vu," "Kidnapped: The Complete Series," "NCIS: The Complete Third Season," "Harry and the Hendersons (Special Edition)," "The Drew Carrey Show: The Complete First Season," "WKRP in Cincinnati: The Complete First Season" (finally!)


CDs
0426Arctic.jpgFAVOURITE WORST NIGHTMARE, Arctic Monkeys
The British indie rock/post-punk revivalist band — known for cleaning up awards shows, refusing to make TV appearances, being accused of selling out and for having UK politicians reference them in speeches in hopes of connecting with the younger crowd — is back with its sophomore “Favourite Worst Nightmare.” Luckily, it appears the band has escaped the slump status so many hyped-up bands encounter and has delivered a solid record that progresses its sound.

Also in stores: "Twelve," Patti Smith; "Love Songs of the '70s," Donny Osmond; "The Definitive Collection," Neil Sedaka; "A Tribute to Joni Mitchell," Various Artists

VIDEO GAME
0426Rings.jpgLORD OF THE RINGS ONLINE
Time to polish up your elvish sword of great antiquity. The War of Ring? It’s on.

Early beta testers say “Lord of the Rings Online” plays a lot like “World of Warcraft,” the current 2,000-pound Balrog of online role-playing games. Not a bad strategy, considering WoW’s install base.

All the usual Tolkien suspects are here: hair-footed hobbits, doughty dwarves, effete elves and hapless humans. You can play a burglar, captain, hunter, minstrel or lore-master.

Yeah, I said minstrel. You and your happy little harp can go all around Middle Earth, bustin’ your rhymes and inspiring, healing and otherwise annoying people with your delightful little ditties. Imagine getting to visit the Prancing Pony in Bree, or the Green Dragon Inn in the Shire. And Old Tom Bombadil? He’s there, too.

So get out the pipe weed and lock your doors. Soon, you’ll be as pale as Gollum in his darkened cave— and twice as addicted. If Sauron had MMORPGs to entice his foes, then the War of the Ring would have lasted all of 15 minutes. — Brian Bethel

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 25, 2007 5:29 PM

The Shrew Should be Tamed

Rosie2.jpgRosie O'Donnell, the former "Queen of Nice," will not extend her one-year contract with ABC's "The View," opting to leave the show in mid-June after her contract expires. Both sides say the split is amicable and comes from not being able to "agree on key elements," not from O'Donnell making offensive caricatures of Chinese, jumping in on the Clay Aiken-Kelly Ripa bitch-slap-fest, or for igniting a petty feud with Donald Trump, one of the few people on the planet more annoying than her. According to Variety, sources say she's been in talks with Warner Bros. about a possible return to daytime syndication with her own show.

Now, I was a fan of "The Rosie Show" as a young teen, flipping between it and "Oprah" after school while eating a snack (before I took a nap) because I didn't know any better. Her Tom Cruise obsession was humorous, it being before they each went off the deep end, and she had her funny moments. But that was before her political side reared its ugly head, stunning lonely, Streisand-loving housewives everywhere. Their sweet Rosie was kissing women, shaving her head and picking fights?! If that weren't bad enough, Oprah went and prescribed "Anna Karenina" for her book club. The last thing desperate housewives need is a fallen leader and Russian lit to sooth them from their suburban despair. Can Rosie really come back after all the negative headlines? What about after the retina-destroying appearance on "Nip/Tuck"? Is even Star Jones's saggy skin preferable to O'Donnell, whose disposition belies her name? Does anyone care what happens to anyone remotely involved with "The View"?

After garnering banner ratings this year, "The View" may be in for a rough spot. But it's humanity that has already lost out by giving credence to, new term, the Queen of Harpies.

Editor's note: People don't use the term "harpy" enough. I'm bringing it back.

So long, Rosie. We won't miss you, but considering you work in the entertainment industry, we won't be allowed to forget you, either.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 25, 2007 11:47 AM

Get Your Gospel On

Artwalk02.jpgThe 10th annual Singing Extravaganza, including an Abilene community-wide (multicultural) a cappella singing group, is set for 6 p.m. April 28 at the Paramount Theatre, 352 Cypress St. Admission is free. ArtWalk patrons were greeted to a sneak peak of the concert two weeks ago (pictured at right), and judging from the beautiful vocals and upbeat atmosphere of the preview, Extravaganza attendees won't be disappointed.

Recording artist Wayburn Dean, former lead singer for the group, Acappella, will perform, along with Stephanie Booker, Paul Williams, Minda St. Church of Christ Choral Group, North Mississippi Mass Chorus and Abilene Community Chorus.

The event is hosted by the Minda Street Church of Christ. For more information, call (325) 676-2151 or go online at http://se.mindacoc.org or www.mindacoc.org.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 25, 2007 10:49 AM

Concert Round-Up

Here's a look at upcoming concerts in the area:

JasonAllen.jpgBIG COUNTRY
Today’s geography lesson: Kickapoo Creek is in Trinity County, southwest of Lufkin in east Texas. “Kickapoo Creek” is also the title of a song by country singer Jason Allen (right) that was the No. 26 song of 2006 on the Best in Texas Music magazine chart. Allen sings Thursday night at Bostocks, 1348 W. Washington St., Stephenville.

Other concerts:
Thursday — Jason Allen, Bostocks (Stephenville).
April 27 — Mike McClure, Cowboys; Shy Blakeman & Whiskey Fever, Bostocks (Stephenville).
April 28 — Miser, Old Kelley’s; Aaron Watson, City Limits (Stephenville)
May 4 — Roger Creager, Cowboys.
May 5 — Ray Willie Hubbard, City Limits (Stephenville); Bart Crow, Backroads Bar & Grill (Brownwood).

-- Brien Murphy

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 25, 2007 10:30 AM

April 24, 2007

This Week in Censorship

fcc-logo.jpgThe Federal Communications Committee will make recommendations to Congress, to be released in a report within the next week, on how it can "enact legislation to give the government unprecedented powers to curb violence in entertainment programming, according to government and TV industry sources. The Federal Communications Commission has concluded that regulating TV violence is in the public interest, particularly during times when children are likely to be viewers -- typically between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m., FCC sources say."

The report concludes that Congress has the authority to regulate violence on TV, though it is vague on the definition of "violence," and goes so far to say that the government can even control what appears on basic cable channels, which customers pay for. The FCC concedes that parents are the "first and last line of defense in protecting their children," but that giving Congress more legislative powers over what the parents' children see is beneficial to all. The times of most concern to FCC officials are the times when children are likely to be viewers -- typically between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m.

First, that's practically the entire day. Adults only get the middle of the night to watch engaging dramas? Second, when I was growing up, I had a bed time up until middle school and had certain times when I had to turn my TV off or couldn't talk on the phone. I didn't have my own TV until I was in my early teens, when my parents trusted me to make the "right" decisions on what or what not to watch. Sure, I hated them for parental controlling out MTV until I was 13, but I got over it. They were being parents, and I grew up on the joys of Nick@Nite and the Disney Channel; I got to be a kid.

Let the FCC mess with broadcast cable if it must, but not basic, and certainly not extended basic channels like HBO or Showtime. "The Sopranos" for 10-year-olds? How about not letting your kids watch "The Sopranos" in the first place? My vote is for the a la carte plan: "According to FCC sources, the report's recommendations include the creation of an "a la carte" system that would allow consumers to buy only the cable channels they want -- a favorite plan of [FCC Chairman Kevin] Martin's that is widely opposed by cable companies." That way, if parents are set on controlling what their kids see but refuse to turn the TV off, they can pick and choose their channels.

russell.jpgIn other news, Russell Simmons (pictured) and Benjamin Chavis, leaders of the Hip-Hop Summit Action Network, encouraged recording and broadcast industries to "voluntarily censor the 'misogynistic' words 'bitch' and 'ho' and the 'racially offensive' N-word from future recordings." The Don Imus dustup has spurred activists in the black community to turn their attention to rap and hip-hop lyrics that degrade women.

"'We recommend the formation of a music industry Coalition on Broadcast Standards, consisting of leading executives from music, radio and television industries,' Simmons and Chavis said on behalf of the HHSAN, an advocacy group dedicated to the cultural relevance of hip-hop music. 'The coalition would recommend guidelines for lyrical and visual standards within the industries.'"

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 24, 2007 12:12 PM

Check Out the New Digs

0425WEBSITECOLOR.jpgThe Reporter-News Web site just received a much-needed facelift. Now, it's easier to navigate and will hopefully serve you better. And, if you're lucky, we'll have photos of skeletons and face reconstructions every day. That's how we like to say good morning in the Big Country -- eye sockets!

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 24, 2007 10:46 AM

April 23, 2007

Abilene is the Unboringest City Ever

FrontierTexas2.jpgErin and I are coming to an end of our Prove Us Wrong days, having already tried out several events suggested to us by Abilenians. (Read up on our solicitation here.)
Locals responded both kindly and not so kindly to our request for fun things to do in town, and both sides will be rewarded when we unveil the outcome of our adventures May 6. For now, here's a look at what we've done so far:

1. Rode the Abilene Trolley for free at ArtWalk and admired the graffiti-covered walls and abandoned buildings of downtown.
2. Pushed 5 year olds out of the way so we could play with the Grace Notes wall of sound at The Grace Museum.
3. Took private lessons at Premiere Martial Arts, learning self-defense moves and how to roundhouse kick, apologizing for accidently kicking the instructor in the thigh. Hard.
4. Were the first patrons of the night at The Warehouse martini bar, where we ate a jar and a half of mixed nuts after I spilled Erin's martini on my pants.
5. Watched a giant puppet of a man-eating plant eat ACU students in "Little Shop of Horrors" while trying to figure out what was being said by the actors. Apparently, we needed to actually sit on the stage to hear the lines.
6. Laughed until we cried in the intermission of Abilene Community Theater's "A Bad Year for Tomatoes." Was the play funny? Not at all. No, Erin reenacted her favorite sketch from "Tom Goes to the Mayor" before we were subjected to the second act. That at least made the torturous evening go a tad quicker ...
7. Ran around Frontier Texas!, being followed by elderly docents who recognized us from our Prove Us Wrong promos in the paper and chided us for daring to call their home boring.
8. Were scolded by a docent at Frontier Texas! for laughing in horror at ACTUAL HUMAN SCALPS on display. Apparently, we weren't being respectful to the spirits who've gone before us.
9. Sat in a stagecoach (pictured), which was used in "Hombre" and "The Three Amigos," at Frontier Texas! and had our picture taken.
10. Attended the final classical concert of the philharmonic's season. Don't worry, big bald guy who sat in the back and snored through Wagner and Sibelius -- you deciding to snooze during a concert wasn't distracting at all. Neither were your twin daughters who kept asking "Is it over?" Trust us, you showed plenty of class by nodding off every few minutes and staying until the end.

That's just a quick summary. Be sure to pick up the paper Sunday, May 6, for a full rundown of our events and impressions of the Key City.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 23, 2007 4:00 PM

Greatest Hits: "Pop Threads"

Original publication date: Jan. 18

By Erin Steele

There are plenty of online vendors out there who tap into the entertainment nerd in all of us, preying on our desire to express ourselves via overpriced products.

But why allow the Internet to swallow up your hard-earned (or easily-earned — ya lazy bum) dollars, when you can craft equally entertaining pop-culture-centric shirts right in your own back yard (I mean that figuratively and literally. Arts and crafts can be messy. You might want to go outside). Buy a solid T-shirt, a few iron-ons or a permanent marker and go crazy — be the Jackson Pollock of custom-made tees (and if you don’t know who Jackson Pollock is, you should probably read more). Don’t be afraid to steal ideas; after all, that’s what pop culture is all about (though it’s usually termed “post-modernism.” Just FYI).

PopDonna.jpgDONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!
Onehorseshy.com

I think we all remember the heartbreak that was Donna Martin’s dance o’ delinquency. “Beverly Hills 90210’s” bastion of abstinence, Donna drank just one glass of champagne — one, I say! — and arrived at prom so sloppy drunk, the principal had no choice but to withhold her diploma. Luckily for Donna, her (totally platonic) friends (which included Shannon Doherty’s Brenda, and let’s face it, who could stand firm in the face of her terrifying denim vests?) demanded that the school board reconsider. Knowing that the “Beverly” brethren could buy and sell them, they relented. And they all lived happily ever after. Until the following season.

Self-made alternatives: Donna wasn’t the only teen soap star who faced a brush with non-graduation. Remember Zack Morris’ tights-clad credit-accumulating performance of “Swan Lake” (because so many high schools offer ballet class. Whatever.)? Or Felicity barely winning the right to walk the UNY stage after that little art-paper plagiarism incident? Just
because they deserved their fate doesn’t mean you shouldn’t flaunt your favorite hero/heroine’s victory over public education. Slackers rule.

PopBush.jpgGEORGE BUSH KILLED MY DOG
Onehorseshy.com

There are a plethora of reasons to dislike George W. Bush — his deity-like way of announcing, nay, DECLARING his decisions and his hooked-on-phonics-did-not-work-for-me reading/speaking skills — but when the president kills your dog, you kinda win a “Get out of Guantanamo Bay Free” card when it comes to insulting said ruler of the free world and/or backtalking the TV whenever he is on it. 'Cause only a Commie wouldn’t hold a grudge against the dude who killed his dog. I’m just saying.

Self-made alternatives: I say Bush, you say Obama. Choose your least-fave
politico and lay a false claim against them. John Kerry stole my Heinz. Dick Cheney spit on my baby. Something like that.

PopDingo.jpgA BABY STOLE MY DINGO
Palmercash.com

The perils of the Australian Outback are well documented: Drinking a few too many
Foster’s. Eating one too many fried onion petals. Allowing your offspring to be kidnapped by wild animals with very funny names. One fewer discussed danger of the Land Down Under is wild babies — ones that will steal your dingo the minute you let him out for a stroll around the yard. Maybe because Meryl hasn’t wailed about bandit babies, the world is still ignorant to these miniscule menaces. And helpless dingoes are suffering.

Self-made alternatives: Movie quotes can be reimagined in many ways. The important part is choosing one that means something to you — and then completely changing its meaning. Which kinda defeats the purpose. But it still sounds funny.

PopGrammar.jpgBAD GRAMMAR MAKES ME [SIC]
Onehorseshy.com

Sadly, correct grammar has taken a backseat to brevity these days. I suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise considering very few people send text messages asking: “do u thnk im smrt?” Answer: :( And as long as teens continue to believe “u r hot” is meaningful conversation, we can all kiss proper grammar goodbye. But here’s a way to express your displeasure in an effective, albeit dorky, way. Your intended targets may not know what [sic] means, but that’s why they submit writings that force it to be used in the first place. Dummies.

Self-made alternatives: Anything that loudly announces your inner nerd. President of the Chess Club? Check mate! Star Mathlete? Solve that problem, killer! Sure, people might make fun of you — but they’re going to anyway. Beat them to the punch.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 23, 2007 3:58 PM

April 20, 2007

"Grey's Anatomy": Time and Time Again

GreysIzzie.jpgA more appropriate title for "Grey's Anatomy" might be "Stevens' Anatomy," making official what has gradually become apparent for the drama: Izzie Stevens is, in many ways, the star. Since Denny's untimely, blood-clot induced death last season, Izzie (Katherine Heigl) has steadily received more airtime, stealing scenes away from suicidal Meredith, easily the most waif-like and annoying heroine on TV. She's had her clumsy, overly idealistic moments -- her "I believe" speech to George when Meredith was frozen stiff comes to mind -- but Heigl's wounded Izzie always wins back fans, and last night's episode "Time After Time" was no exception.

Still reeling from her drunken night with George (T.R. Knight), Izzie tried confessing as a way to clear her guilty mind and move past her hurt feelings when George refused to deal with the issue. The encounter wasn't a mistake to her, and while her developing feelings for George seem contrived -- is every castmate going to sleep with everyone else by the end of this thing? -- last night almost had me convinced that a George-Izzie relationship isn't a bad idea. Except for that whole "George is already married to a woman who could crush Izzie" thing, but that's for a later episode. Last night Izzie was seeking atonement, but what she received was more pain: The adoptive parents of the 11-year-old child she gave up came to Seattle Grace looking for her. The child, Hannah, has leukemia, and she needed a bone marrow transplant from her birth mother to have a fighting chance. Izzie confided in Bailey, who dropped her clinic duties to help her, and after swallowing the blow that her daughter didn't want to meet her, she decided to give Hannah the transplant. George found out about the transplant just in time to trade places with Bailey in the procedure room and make amends.

He dropped everything -- including a coffee date with wife Callie -- to be with Izzie, even though he tried to run away again when she brought up their indiscretion. Their friendship means too much to each of them, but their past will eventually catch up with them. That's what season finales are for. The show's writers often do their characters a disservice in the plot devices they come up with, but Heigl and Knight each saved their scenes from descending into melodrama.

Meanwhile, Cristina played a game of mind chess with ex-boyfriend and visiting surgeon Colin Marlow (Roger Rees), driving home the point that she's happy as the soon-to-be Mrs. Burke; Derek realized his relationship with Meredith might hurt his chances of being chief, seeing that Richard promised Ellis he'd look after Meredith and doesn't want to see her hurt like his wife was; Meredith was rude to her stepmother, rebuffing her desire to take care of her, but eventually had her cold heart warmed by the attention; Richard tried to get back in the dating game with Mark as his wingman; and Alex grew closer to Eva, the injured amnesiac, who had her bandages removed and found a family that mistook her for their long-lost daughter.

It's like "Glengarry Glen Ross" for 11-year-olds

baldwin.jpg Alec Baldwin really hates it when people don't answer their phones, and not in the way most of us do, where we're too irritated to leave a message and just hang up halfway through whatever lame voicemail greeting we're forced to endure. Then later, when said non-answerer calls us back and gives us a half-hearted "Sorry I missed your call," we say, "It's cool," not even chiding them for earlier failing to drop everything and answer the phone.

Not so for Baldwin. He endures the voicemail greetings, if only because it buys him time to think of colorful terms of endearment to deliver such as "rude thoughtless little pig" and "pain in the a**." And hey, I'm not going to act like I'm above this kind of thing -- I plead guilty to many a late-night drunk dial that resulted in certain ex-boyfriends being referred to as farm animals or various body parts (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)

The good news for me, however, is that the recipients of my tirades were grown men who just acted like they were 11 years old. Baldwin's case is far more grim: His expletive-laced meltdown was directed at his daughter, who is, in fact, 11.

TMZ.com "obtained" a tape of Baldwin's message, and by "obtained," I mean "sat back and had it dumped into their laps, most likely by Kim Basinger and her lawyer." The tape was played in family court earlier this week, where a judge found Baldwin's enraged, emotionally abusive father performance so convincing, she temporarily revoked his visitation rights (such is the curse of being the only decent actor in your family.)

Of course, telling your pre-teen daughter that she doesn't "have the brains or the decency as a human being," is pretty harsh and is also a pretty appalling sentence fragment. The decency as a human being to answer the phone? To watch "30 Rock"? To honestly tell your father that he needs to go on a diet, because the John Travolta bloat-ation plan he's currently on is working a little too well?

I don't know. What I do know is that Baldwin's oft-voiced plans to run for office are probably best shelved at this point. You know, since politicians are often forced to talk about "family values" and such.

  • Erin Steele
  • April 20, 2007 10:11 AM

April 19, 2007

This Won't Be as Horrifying

ShopofHorrors.jpgAs I sat in the dentist's chair this morning, wrapped in a blanket, wearing sunglasses (they made me) and listening to "Since U Been Gone" and "True Colors" and the like on the overhead radio, scenes from the "Little Shop of Horrors" production I saw last weekend kept popping into my head. Particularly the scene in which the abusive boyfriend dances around singing about killing puppies and choosing dentistry as his profession because it's the only way he can legally torture people (ahh, the pre-Bush administration days). Anyway, you can have a similar, albeit pain-free experience, by seeing ACU's "Little Shop of Horrors" this weekend or next. It's a tad uneven, and at times you'll be drawn out of the experience when you realize that you're watching a giant puppet of a giant man-eating plant sing, but it's got its charms.

Other plays opening tonight include Abilene Community Theater's "A Bad Year for Tomatoes" and "Murder at the Howard Johnson's" at McMurry University.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 19, 2007 4:42 PM

Some problems are bigger than gerbils

INDIA AIDS.jpg Richard Gere and Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty could face legal action after Gere dared to kiss the Indian beauty on the cheek at an AIDS awareness campaign launch. Many crowds in India have even burned effigies of Gere, which makes me wonder why they don't have anything better to do than deface images of the guy who starred in "American Gigolo" before buying his own hooker in the *love story* "Pretty Woman."

My guess? The crowds are jealous it wasn't them with whom Gere broke the law. Little known fact: "Autumn in New York" is the official film of India. For real. There are statues devoted to Winona Ryder and everything. OK, that's a lie. But I really wish it were true.

Three lawyers, who are apparently not fans of "The Hoax" (blaspheme!), have filed legal complaints stating that the mouth-on-cheek makeout session was an "obscene act" (depends on the cheek, if you ask me.) If Gere and Shetty are found guilty of being pagan lovers, they could face heavy fines or even jail time.

So O.J. can avoid prison after allegedly killing two people, but Gere could go to jail for pecking someone on the cheek like a smitten second-grader? Great. I hope his wife learned a thing or two while starring on "Law & Order" so she can save him from this mess.

  • Erin Steele
  • April 19, 2007 3:14 PM

Au Revoir, Winter Icon

I'm guessing last weekend was our last bout with wintry weather until at least November (though this being Texas, it's hard to say for sure), which means one very important thing: It's time to bid a fond adieu to the snowman.

snowman.jpg Sure, the flakes never really fell hard enough for us to build a mammoth snow sculpture, but every time the cold white powder started fluttering to earth, didn't you just pray there would be enough to construct your own little multi-tiered man, accented with a stylish hat crooked atop his frigid head? Didn't you rummage through your closet, hoping to select the perfect scarf -- hey, maybe one with snowmen on it! -- to wrap around his snowy neck in the off-chance that snowy neck would no longer just be part of some weird daydream and enter the realm of reality? No? Well I did. You know why? 'Cause snowmen are freakin' AWESOME!

Just think of all the cool movies and television shows that have featured snowmen: "Frosty the Snowman," "Jack Frost," "The Magic Snowman," "Santa vs. Snowman," "The Snowman who Saved Summer" (which I must see immediately), "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Oh, and "Man Beast." For real. Plus, I hear among Mormon kids, snowmen are ranked third in popularity, playing runner-up only to Jesus and Joseph Smith.

So it makes me sad that I have no real hope of seeing a snowman until much, much later in the year, if at all. A very good friend of mine is a snowman, but he morphs into a fire-man in the summer, which is also awesome, but the headgear isn't as neat. My suggestion: Unless, like me, you dream about snowmen every night, satisfy your thirst by renting a snowman movie or two. Call it Christmas in, er, April, I guess.

Blogger's note: Yes, this is a random entry. Enjoy it for its peculiar charms. Or don't.

  • Erin Steele
  • April 19, 2007 10:24 AM

TV's Guilty Pleasures: The confections that cure our most insatiable sweet tooth

0419insider.jpg

We should feel bad about loving these shows ... but we don’t.

1. "The Girls Next Door" (above)
Airs: Multiple times throughout the week on E! (Suddenlink channel 66)
Why it’s guilty (and a pleasure): You’d think the shenanigans at the Playboy mansion would get pretty one note (or at the very least, too hot for TV.) Not so; these three bunnies prove there’s some toughness to their fluff. Hef’s main squeeze Holly (center) shows initiative by setting up many of the mag’s spreads; Bridget (far right) boasts a B.A. in public relations, a master’s degree in communications and is working on another master’s in broadcast journalism; and Kendra (far left), well ... she’s kind of dumb, but she does have the trio’s most distinctive laugh (often lampooned by “The Soup’s” Joel McHale.) So that’s something. — Erin Steele

0419oc.jpg2. "The O.C."
Airs: In our hearts, on SOAPnet (Suddenlink channel 226), on DVD
Why it’s guilty (and a pleasure): “The O.C.” ushered in a new wave of primetime soap operas and introduced the world to brooding Ryan (Benjamin McKenzie), troubled Marissa (Mischa Barton), the wonderful Cohens and the rest of the dysfunctional gang. It was the show to watch in its prime — the perfect, bubblegum cure for a long day at work — brimming with affairs, a surprising amount of wit and the joy of watching Ryan go “all Chino” and punch people. Unfortunately, “The O.C.” took a turn for the worse in season three, killed off Marissa and never fully recovered in the ratings. At least we’ll always have the DVDs. — Sarah Carlson

0419newyork.jpg3. "I Love New York"
Airs: Throughout the week on VH1 (Suddenlink channel 37)
Why it’s guilty (and a pleasure): What are the ingredients for a guilty-pleasure reality show? Try half a cup of crazies with nicknames such as “Pootie,” “12-Pack” and “Chance”; a leading lady whose face is eerily similar to Lambchop’s (blame the big false eyelashes); and a season finale filled with the most entertaining dolphin encounters since “SeaQuest” left our fair airwaves. Yes, this is the world of “I Love New York,” which (to my dismay) recently wrapped its first season. But since star Tiffany “New York” Patterson was unceremoniously dumped by “Ninja Turtle-lookin’” Tango, let us all cross our fingers for a season two. — ES

0419realworld.jpg4. "Real World / Road Rules Challenge: Inferno 3"
Airs: 9 p.m. Tuesdays on MTV (Suddenlink channel 64)
Why it’s guilty (and a pleasure): The 14th season of the deliciously horrible Real World/Road Rules Challenge brings us The Inferno 3, a competition between MTV’s reality show alumni. Contestants are split into two teams and have to perform often outrageous physical challenges, both as a team and individually. Cat fights, back-stabbing, sleazy hookups, regular fights, name-calling, alliances, betrayals — you name it, the Inferno has it. The castmates aren’t exactly “intelligent,” so you’re assured an amusing time by watching the Neanderthal men and less-than-respectable women demonstrate the darkest aspects of human nature. — SC

0419lasvegas.jpg5. "Las Vegas"
Airs: 8 p.m. Fridays on NBC (Suddenlink channel 5)
Why it’s guilty (and a pleasure): By no means a “good” show, this NBC
drama is packed with nearly soap-operatic revelations each episode, all taking place against the backdrop of Sin City. Intrigued? You should be. The beautiful staff of the fictional Montecito Hotel and Casino includes “All My Children” alum Josh Duhamel; “General Hospital” alum Vanessa Marcil; and “Godfather” alum James Caan (which of these things is not like the others, you ask.) Add in model Molly Sims and failed WB sitcom castaway Nikki Cox, and you’ve got the kind of slick TV that’s impossible to turn away from. Don’t fight it. Just enjoy. — ES

0419kirk.jpg6. "E! True Hollywood Story"
Airs: Throughout the week on E! (Suddenlink channel 66)
Why it’s guilty (and a pleasure): Have you ever seen what pure, unadulterated joy looks like? Just watch my face as I gaze upon the glory that is the E! “True Hollywood Story.” This tabloid-esque behind-the-scenes look at everything from celebrity love lives to ’80s-era sitcoms is classic trash TV. Unfortunately, “THS” has already reached its pinnacle with its expose on the set of “Growing Pains.” Born-again Christians, anorexics, death threats to little brother Ben — who knew an innocuous “Family Ties” rip-off would be rife with so much on-set drama? “THS,” that’s who. — ES

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 19, 2007 12:01 AM

April 18, 2007

Remembering their lives, not their deaths.

The New York Times has put together a tribute to those who lost their lives at Virginia Tech on Monday. The newspaper compiled biographies and photographs of each of the 32 victims, choosing to focus more on their lives -- and the way in which they affected those around them -- than their deaths, something which is done far too rarely in media coverage of tragic events. Check out the tribute here.

  • Erin Steele
  • April 18, 2007 5:34 PM

Lily Allen embraces Robert Downey Jr.'s success scheme

lilalln.jpg U.K songstress Lily Allen has canceled the American leg of her tour because "I am tired, but more than that I don't think I have been giving my best performances recently," the singer wrote on her MySpace blog. "I have been getting really drunk because I've been so nervous about doing bad shows, and I don't want people spending money on going to see a show that isn't the best it could be."

Wouldn't it be great if everyone had a job where being drunk all the time was a reasonable excuse to not come to work? I mean, the rest of the world has to run a comb through its hair, put on a pair of sunglasses and down a bottle of Sweet Breath while coughing the word "flu" at every stupid person who thinks it's witty/appropriate to question why you aren't your usual chipper self today. BACK OFF PEOPLE! I'M NERVOUS.

Anyway. I guess it's good that Allen doesn't want to disappoint/rip off her audience, but you know what would be even better: Sober up, you drunken wench. Either that, or learn to play quality shows while you're hammered. If the Rolling Stones never performed when they were wasted, then they would have, well, NEVER performed. If Keith Richards can crawl on stage after snorting his father's ashes and falling headfirst from a palm tree, then surely Allen can grasp a mic after a few Amstel Lights.

Allen's Los Angeles and New York dates will still be honored, as will the Coachella and Bonaroo festivals. There are about 10 canceled shows that will be rescheduled.

  • Erin Steele
  • April 18, 2007 2:37 PM

We All Everybody

LostDesmondBeach.jpgAll right, "Lost" fans: Entertainment Weekly's Jeff Jensen may be obsessive in his theories, but he's provided a few interesting insights into the "Lost" world and its possible philosophies. Tonight's episode, "Catch-22," is Desmond-centric and some of Jensen's ideas on it and the series are quite a stretch. Although his thought-out piece at times reads like a recap of the philosophy classes you forgot about, I think he's on to something in his look at the works of Nietzsche and Kierkegaard and how they relate to the overall themes of the show. He also could be giving the show's writers way too much credit, as they obviously made storylines up as they went, but here's hoping he's right and that there is a good reason we've stuck with the show so long.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 18, 2007 2:18 PM

This Really Will Live Forever

Fame 1.jpgIn another sign that nothing made in the '80s is sacred (A remake of "Weird Science"? Say it isn't so!), MGM is backing a remake of the 1980 movie "Fame." The Allan Parker film followed aspiring performers at the New York Academy of Performing Arts and helped usher in a decade of slouch socks, ripped work-out tees and bike shorts over sweatpants, best worn by Josh Brolin in "The Goonies." It's not great, but it's a "classic" in the sense that it came out in a decade in which Anthony Michael Hall was an "actor" and Michael Jackson was "black." You can't help but not hate it.

According to THR:

[MGM COO Rick] Sands said MGM has hired a writer and director for the project but offered no further details. Casting has not yet begun. He said the studio plans to retain many of the musical elements of the original movie that also launched a global television hit and international stage show.

"We'll update it, (but) we'll still keep some of the songs. The script is being written right now, but we are keeping it under wraps. There will be a strong musical component, though," Sands said.

I believe the update they're looking for already came in "Center Stage," but it didn't have the catchy tunes. And by catchy, I mean horrible.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 18, 2007 12:32 PM

Concert Round-Up

Here's a look at upcoming concerts in the area:

GaryAllan.jpgWEST TEXAS
Country singer Gary Allan (“Life Ain’t Always Beautiful,” “Nothing On But The Radio”) has endured more than most successful musicians: his record label closed down, he followed up a promising hit single with songs that didn’t do so well, and his wife committed suicide. But Allan, pictured, also has three No. 1 hits (including “Man to Man”), and his career seems to getting better with time. He performs with Cross Canadian Ragweed and Wade Bowen. Friday, Kay Yeager Coliseum, Wichita Falls. Tickets: $33.50/ $27.50. Contact: (940) 716-5555 or www.wfmpec.com.

DALLAS/FORT WORTH
Enjoy standup comedy? Good luck finding any in Abilene. For that, you need to go to Dallas-Fort Worth, where you can laugh along with the Latin Kings of Comedy, hosted by Paul Rodriguez. 8 p.m. Friday, Nokia Theatre, Grand Prairie. Tickets: $40/$35/$30, available online at www.ticketmaster.com.

Other Events:
Thursday — Steve Holy, Guitars & Cadillacs
April 21 — Cross Canadian Ragweed/Reckless Kelly/Ryan James, Taylor County Expo Center; Sandi Patti, Junnell Center (San Angelo)
April 26 — Jason Allen, Bostocks (Stephenville)
April 27 — Mike McClure, Cowboys; Shy Blakeman & Whiskey Fever, Bostocks (Stephenville)
April 28 — Miser, Old Kelley’s; Aaron Watson, City Limits (Stephenville); Hurt Street, Bostocks (Stephenville)

-- Brien Murphy

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 18, 2007 12:01 AM

April 17, 2007

All my friends are so small town / My parents live in the same small town / My Job is So Small Town

EdwardsKerry.jpgIt takes a lot of effort to look this pretty. According to a new AP story:

[John Edwards'] campaign committee picked up the tab for two haircuts at $400 each by celebrity stylist Joseph Torrenueva of Beverly Hills, Calif., according to a financial report filed with the Federal Election Commission. FEC records show Edwards also availed himself of $250 in services from a trendy salon and spa in Dubuque, Iowa, and $225 in services from the Pink Sapphire in Manchester, N.H., which is described on its Web site as “a unique boutique for the mind, body and face” that caters mostly to women. A spokeswoman for Edwards’ campaign did not respond to requests for comment.

This is a great day for sons of mill workers -- you, too, can claw your way to the top by being a trial lawyer and later a senator, all the while promising to help the little guy. Once the little guy believes you and votes for you, you'll be able to give Paris Hilton a run for her money in terms of hair care. So that's why Kerry was always touching him ... he just had to be close to those luscious locks.

This video was already featured on "The Daily Show," but it's worth watching again:

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 17, 2007 6:10 PM

That's Metaphorlicious!

colbert.jpgseanpenn.jpg

Sean Penn has accepted Stephen Colbert's challenge for a Metaphor-Off after Colbert -- friend of the site -- called Penn out on his show over Penn's nearly illiterate metaphors about Bush and his cronies. At a March 24 town hall meeting in Oakland, Calif., Penn had this to say about Dubya:

"We cower as you point your fingers telling us to support our troops while you and the smarmy pundits in your pocket, those who bathe in the moisture of your soiled and blood-soaked underwear, can take that noise and shove it."

Colbert criticized Penn's sloppy, confusing metaphor about Bush's undies, challenging him to a duel of comparisons, which will go down Thursday. My vote is for Colbert -- he's pretty smart, Penn. You might want to be an eighth-grade English textbook and study up. Hopefully, Colbert will point out that you only added fuel to the fire by criticizing Bush and his Bushies, which didn't leave all the king's men smoldering but rather mocking your tangled web of hair, which sprouted out of your head like weeds. Damn -- that ended with both a mixed metaphor and a simile. Good luck, guy.

Muppets Take the Airwaves, Installment 2

lambchop.jpg newyork.jpg


OK, Lambchop isn't technically a Muppet, but she's a puppet, and as far as I'm concerned, that's close enough. I wonder if the famous wool-wearer knows that she has a doppelganger who hangs out in the hallowed halls of VH1's reality programming? Which is to say that Tiffany "New York" Patterson, star of the self-titled dating debacle "I Love New York," looks a lot like Lambchop. Sure, she doesn't sing "The Song that Doesn't End," but I bet she would if it would grant her another 15 minutes in the spotlight. Or another 15 rounds of plastic surgery.

Mamma Mia! This is the Most Random Musical Ever!

Colin Firth.jpgColin "wet shirt" Firth has joined the cast of "Mamma Mia!" -- the screen version of the hit ABBA-loving musical. He joins Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Amanda Seyfried, Stellan Skarsgard and Christine Baranski. This means the guy who will always be known as Darcy joins the girl from "Mean Girls," Prof. Gerald Lambeau from "Good Will Hunting," James Bond, and the woman from "Cybill." Awesome.

According to THR:

The story revolves around a bride-to-be (Seyfried) and her formerly rebellious mom (Streep) who raised her on a Greek island and never disclosed the identity of her father. The bride locates three men who might be her father and invites them to her wedding. The musical features 22 ABBA songs, including "Dancing Queen," "Take a Chance on Me" and "The Winner Takes It All."

Firth is one of the three possible fathers, a British businessman. Firth previously sang, though briefly, in "The Importance of Being Earnest," but "Mamma Mia!" will be his first musical.

Skarsgard plays another possible dad. Baranski portrays a plastic surgery-loving party girl in her 40s who is bossy and boozy.

Now that I have "Dancing Queen" in my head, my only hope is that they work in a scene where The Firth has to go swimming in his clothes and will later gaze longingly at someone as she plays the piano. And then Pierce will shoot him, Meryl will cry and win an Oscar for it, and Stellan will just sit there and smoke, looking bored. The end.

Release Round-Up

Today's CD releases are Avril Lavigne's "The Best Damn Thing," Nine Inch Nails' "Year Zero" and Bucky Covington's self-titled debut. I know nothing/care nothing about these artists, other than I like Cash's cover of Nails' "Hurt" and I'm pretty sure Bucky's parents hate him. So, I'm sticking with DVDs today. Here's a look at some of today's new releases:

DVDs

FreedomWriters.jpg"Freedom Writers"
For those with the urge to see another "white woman helps underprivileged students learn something valuable" story, the Hilary Swank-led "Freedom Writers" is for you. Despite its predictability, critics said the film's honest look at the public school education system and the lives of the students is what makes it worth watching.




HistoryBoys.jpg"The History Boys"
While probably not as good as the original staged version, "The History Boys" presents and interesting and witty look at a group of bright students preparing for their entry exams into either Oxford or Cambridge. They're caught between their English master (Richard Griffiths), who has a fondness for fondling, and their shrewd teacher brought in to raise their test scores (Stephen Campbell Moore). More than a battle of wits, it's a battle of ideas, and a look at unbridled youth and intelligence and how the students will or won't use their gifts.




KingScotland.jpg"The Last King of Scotland"
In the 1970s, a young Scottish doctor (James McAvoy) travels to Uganda to work in a rural hospital and do some good. He catches the attention of the dictator Idi Amin (Forest Whitaker, who won an Oscar for his role) in a chance encounter and is eventually hired as his personal physician and given a position in the national health department. He becomes entangled in Amin's life and political corruption, but soon realizes he has to escape from the erratic leader.




NotesScandal.jpg"Notes on a Scandal"
When an elderly schoolteacher (Dench) develops a dangerous infatuation with a young, bohemian teacher (Blanchett), she attempts to take her under her wing. But, when she discovers that the younger teacher's affair with a teenage student, she turns on her, and the two battle it out in a psychological war that can't end well. Both Dench and Blanchett were nominated for Oscars for their roles.




SmokinAces.jpg"Smokin' Aces"
In Quentin Tarantino-esque fashion, a group of assassins is out to kill Buddy "Aces" Israel (Jeremy Piven), a former Vegas performer who's about to rat on the mob. Reviews were mixed, but here's an excerpt from my favorite one by the New York Times' A.O. Scott: "A Viagra suppository for compulsive action fetishists and a movie that may not only be dumb in itself, but also the cause of dumbness in others."




Spiderman2.1.jpg"Spider-Man 2.1"
"Spider-Man 2.1" offers eight minutes of new footage, including extended action sequences and a sneak peek of "Spider-Man 3." Eight minutes isn't much, but even if you don't buy this new version, it's a good idea to refresh your memory before the May 4 debut of the third Spidey installment.





  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 17, 2007 12:10 AM

April 16, 2007

Tobey Maguire Isn't Intense, He Just Looks That Way

Tobey.jpgThe cast of "Spider-Man 3" walked the red carpet in Japan on Monday at the world premiere of the hopefully final installment of one of the best superhero film franchises. But talk is swirling about a possible "Spider-Man 4," and both Maguire and Kirsten Dunst seem apprehensive.

According to Variety: "Maguire has been coy about whether this is his final "Spider-Man" movie. 'I feel like this film is kind of a natural conclusion to a lot of stuff that's happened in the first two movies,' Maguire said. 'It kind of feels like a natural trilogy,' the 31-year-old actor said, adding that he's open to donning the Spider-Man suit again 'if a story presents itself, if we come up with something we feel deserves to be told.' I'm not going to make them just because they've been successful.'"

Dunst told Entertainment Weekly that she would only return if Maguire and director Sam Raimi did as well. ''It's disrespectful to the whole team, I think, to do that. And audiences aren't stupid," she said. "It'd be a big flop without me, Tobey, or Sam. That would really not be the smartest move. But they know that already. [Sony chief] Amy Pascal would never do that.''

Raimi is reportedly interested in filming "The Hobbit," depending on whether Peter Jackson settles his feud with New Line. Despite saying ''Peter Jackson might be the best filmmaker on the planet right now," which makes him delusional in my book, Raimi could be capable of pulling off "The Hobbit." But do we want a "Spider-Man 4"? Sony's President of Production Matt Tolmach seems to think so, according to EW.

''Listen, we're making Spider-Man 4," he said. Our hope, dream, and intention is to do it with Sam. But I don't have a crystal ball.''

Will the Price Ever Be Right Again?

CBS has narrowed the candidates in the running to replace Bob Barker, host of "The Price is Right," down to three: "Entertainment Tonight" co-host Mark Steines, actor George Hamilton and Las Vegas' "The Price Is Right" stage show host Todd Newton. Barker will tape his last show in June, retiring after 35 years of holding that skinny mic and feigning disappointment when contestants ended up with a ceramic poodle instead of a yacht. According to the Hollywood Reporter, "CBS might hold off on announcing Barker's successor until its two-night primetime sendoff to the 50-year showbiz veteran on May 16 and 17."

So, which one of these guys do you want to see hosting the best game show ever? Take our poll. We'll be sure to send the results to CBS. It will totally make a difference. We swear.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 16, 2007 1:36 PM

Greatest Hits: "Sad Songs Say So Much"

Original publication date: Feb. 15

So your Valentine’s Day didn’t go as planned ... exorcise those love pangs by popping your favorite breakup tunes into the CD player (make sure everyone else can hear them, too, just in case they’re selfish enough to be happy when you’re not).

alanis-morissette5.jpgTHE VINDICTIVE BREAKUP
Planning a last-minute road trip to Florida to greet your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend? No problem! Throw your wigs and rope into the trunk, strap on your diaper and pop Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” into the CD player — it’s sure to get you in that peppy, pepper-spraying kinda mood. (No doubt the melody will still be rattling around in your brain as you’re fingerprinted. Belt out a few notes for that special police officer in your life).

Of course, no one wants the guy who was just ditched to feel left out — fellas should indulge in Blue October’s “Breakfast After 10,” which instructs you on how to get back at your ex in the most infantile way possible (and everyone knows there’s nothing quite as fun as that). Plus, you’ll get to screech a lot as you sing it, and that can be therapeutic. Right? — Erin Steele


THE PLEASANT BREAKUP
Denton one-hit wonder Deep Blue Something gave hope to everyone who does NOT want a vindictive breakup: "Breakfast at Tiffany's," where a couple that really has no future at least can say, hey, we both kinda liked it (the film version, that is). So their time together wasn't a total loss or a complete waste of time. When you break up, you can use a dose of self-confidence. — Brien Murphy


Michael Bolton - Michael Bolton.jpgTHE EXTREME DEPRESSION BREAKUP
Binoculars? Check. Dark clothing? Check. Trusty Captain Morgan at your side? Check and check. If you’re parked across the street from your ex’s place, stalking his or her every move and wiping your tears with his or her favorite shirt you claim you don’t have, you’re a few steps beyond the Sensitive Dude or Lilith Fair Breakups (see below). Now it’s time to turn to Michael Bolton, that long-maned minx (I’m pretending he never cut his locks) whose anthem “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?” will help you through these dark times.

Need a more current tune to put on repeat when you can’t get out of bed the next day? JamesBlunt’s “Goodbye My Lover” should keep you un-showered and unloved for weeks. Maybe months. — Sarah Carlson

THE NEW WAVE BREAKUP
Greg Kihn was really on to something in 1981 with "The Breakup Song" (even if the title was a little obvious). The last place you want to be when you've "broken up for good just an hour ago" is "staring at all the bodies as they're dancing 'cross the floor" ... and the stupid band chooses THAT moment to play a slow song. Sure, you're sad when you break up, but don't forget the very valid emotion of anger. Indeed, they don't write 'em like that anymore. — BM


bon jovi.jpgTHE HAIR BAND BREAKUP
We can’t all be Tommy and Gina. Sometimes, even our most fervent prayers can’t save our relationships, no matter how loud we shout our affections or how hard we pump our fists in the air. For these heartbreaks, we must turn to the master: Bon Jovi, with “You Give Love a Bad Name.” While it’s not going the Vindictive Breakup route (Huggies are expensive), belting out ’80s glam rock in the privacy of your vehicle can be therapeutic. Later on, hold your lighter in the air (20 feet away from any building, mind you) and remember the good times, all images in soft focus and with a surprising amount of glitter.

But remember: Just like every night has its dawn, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” You’ll bounce back. Thanks for the tip, Poison! — SC


celine3.jpgTHE ‘I DON’T CARE HOW STUPID THIS SONG IS, IT SOOTHES ME’ BREAKUP
Turning to Celine Dion in a time of crisis is the musical equivalent of chasing Vicodin with a few martinis — you know it’s potentially lethal, but somehow it just seems like a good idea at the time. If you must take the French-Canadian route, listen to “My Heart Will Go On” — it might remind you of how bad “Titanic” was, and that’s always good for a laugh.

For a less glass-breaking — but equally cheesy — alternative, turn to Toni Braxton’s “Unbreak My Heart.” You can unbreak your budget by picking it up in the bargain bin. — ES


THE ‘WHY DIDN’T I DO THIS SOONER?’ BREAKUP
If you’re the one who did the dumping and are regretting ever dating that guy you met in the Skinny’s checkout line, it’s time to celebrate your freedom with Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.” You’re not a heartbreaker; you just have a penchant for picking losers. Crank up Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” and enjoy the single life. Reinforcing the belief that you’ll survive may come in handy if you see Mr. Big Swig sitting in his car across the street from your apartment. It happens. — SC


THE LILITH FAIR BREAKUP
Don’t breakups make you feel a little like you’re a teenager again? When you swore you’d never forget your high school boyfriend as you listened to Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” for the eight millionth time only to discover, years later, that you can’t even remember his name (he sure was cute, though). Or how you’d tell yourself, “I’ll never leave the cap off the toothpaste,” as you’d listen to Jewel croon “You Were Meant For Me” (failing to realize at such a young age that any guy who gets so incredibly anal over a toothpaste cap probably isn’t worth dating anyway).

Yes, the artists of Lilith Fair were our tour guides through a plethora of tough emotions as we’d go to bed so exhausted from crying that we wouldn’t even take our retainers out. So go ahead: let them comfort you again. At least now, you can listen to “Foolish Games” with a glass of wine in hand. — ES


chrismartin_oxfam-736543.jpgTHE SENSITIVE DUDE BREAKUP
So that harlot went and shattered your heart, huh? Why’d she even accept all of those mix CDs and that poem you wrote for her and personally framed if she was just going to smash it to pieces? YOU WOULD HAVE NAMED YOUR DAUGHTER APPLE FOR HER! Don’t worry, man. Just put on a pot of Earl Grey, pop in any of Coldplay’s CDs and curl up in a fetal position. We recommend “Trouble,” “We Never Change” and “Shiver” from the album “Parachutes,” and “Warning Sign” and “The Scientist” from “A Rush of Blood to the Head.” For variety, turn to John Mayer’s “Come Back to Bed.”

Women can be cruel, but that’s nothing a falsetto voice on a rainy day can’t cure. Keep looking for your Gwyneth — she’s out there. But you should probably stop crying first. — SC

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 16, 2007 1:01 AM

April 13, 2007

This 'Stranger' is Perfect

The new Halle Berry and Bruce Willis flick, "Perfect Stranger," is sitting at an 11 percent fresh rating on rottentomatoes.com at the moment -- another flop (at least critically) for Berry, whose Oscar-winning days are a thing of her pre-"Catwoman" past. Instead of torturing yourself this weekend by seeing "Strangers," or by renting her award-winning film "Monster's Ball" (also is torture in my book), just watch this YouTube clip of the better "Perfect Stranger" -- "Perfect Strangers," that is. If I could create a perfect TV channel, this show would be on it. I miss Cousin Larry and Balki. But doesn't everyone?

America's Got Crappy Reality Shows

leonid.jpgNBC unveiled its summer TV lineup yesterday to the excitement of no one, and unless you hate yourself or have a penchant for watching horrible reality shows, you should probably triple your summer reading list. It's going to be a long one.

"America's Got Talent" (May 29), "Last Comic Standing" (June 13) and "The Biggest Loser" (TBA) are all returning, and a new "dating show with a twist, "The Age of Love," will premiere June 18. Fox is bringing back "So You Think You Can Dance?" and ABC will launch a new series, "The Next Best Thing: Who Is the Greatest Celebrity Impersonator?"

The biggest loser in this batch is undoubtedly "America's Got Talent," which unleashed Leonid the Magnificent (pictured) on an unknowing public -- not to mention David Hasselhoff. (For more bizarre pictures of Leonid, whom The Hasselhoff kept around on the show as a "wild card," visit his Web site. It doesn't disappoint.) Millions of talentless Americans will likely tune in to all of these shows, giving the networks the go-ahead to create even more crappy reality shows. Quit being Hollywood's enabler, people. Just say no.

This is why I pay for extended cable channels. I'm counting on all my HBO, Showtime and Encore channels to sustain me through the scorching summer months.

  • Sarah Carlson
  • April 13, 2007 12:32 PM