Last Wednesday, or a week from yesterday, I was in an intense water balloon fight. The sad part is it was instigated by me and another friend. I am part of four couples who teach a class on Wednesday, enriching our youth.

We took them to Jacob's Dream (the new statue at ACU) and proceeded to play Frisbee and genuine fellowship. Then we decided to play some games. After the games we took pictures, on the statue. This was our chance. How many times do you get to sneak up on freshmen in high school and drown them in about 64 water balloons? That's what we thought as well.

So to help with my story, I have included this illustration of the scenario. My graphic artist skills are very "weak sauce."

You will notice that the kids were facing away from the rock. We snuck up behind the rock with a laundry basket full of water balloons. First of all, who would not notice two large guys walking up with such ammo? Some how we managed, and you will see the landing zone of the three balloons we got off before they noticed.

One direct hit and that's all we needed. Afterwards we were drenched but still worth that look of fright when they turned and saw what we were working with.

Not too interesting but it’s been too long since I have had a good water balloon fight.

Mrs. Varble has written a wonderful article on our new reservoir.

Posted by James Mayo · May 31, 2007 8:00 AM · Comments (3)

I said I was going to write about Discount Tire, I lied. Something more entertaining has emerged. My love for professional sports is large; large enough to make this blog space about sports sometimes or about things that I find fault or humor with. That would be the Rangers, but I will move on.

One of the great things about having a blog is not only the ability to have a medium in which I can discuss my opinion, views and take certain stances on (at this time I would like to say that all opinions expressed on this site are entirely my own and definitely do not reflect the thoughts and opinion of the Abilene Reporter-News, E.W. Scripps or our business partners). Whew, had to get that out of the way before the site went down.

You may have probably guessed that I have no formal journalism training. There is usually not a coherent thought in my writings, just a bunch of gibberish and photos, with many run-on sentences or mispunctuations.

TOUGH, that's my fault and I don't apologize for it. I can also tell you that when we had the TAAS test, I scored a 5 in writing. That's right a 5. I was the only person in our school that year to do so. You want the secret. I love formulas: Introduction, 3 well developed points (2 pros and 1 con). Always put false percentages (and quotes) and a conclusion reiterating your topic sentence.

Moving on ...

Today is about the sad fate of sports as we know it. Too often there are reports showcasing the outside life of professional athletes and all the good that is done is cast away to the back of the paper.

Not ours, but other ones. Yes, I read other newspapers only to look at advertising ideas, and they aren't in this market so lay off.

Michael Vick is the latest - it’s been a long time coming but finally the point of no return. Dog fighting, it’s very disappointing. Half of me wishes it was for drug use or steroids. That way you can say that he was only hurting himself and the league's reputation. Dog fighting is ... well you all know what dog fighting is. I do not own a dog, nor a cat. I have two house geckos (Tyrone and Pablonator, from The Backyardigans Cops and Robots episode).

You are going to bet on which animal lives in a fight. It was only raised to fight, and people make money off of this. Yes, it’s similar to boxing, to MMA (mixed martial arts) or American Gladiators; but these PEOPLE had a choice. Their parents did not birth them, teach them and treat them miserably and then throw them in a ring, betting that they wouldn't die. If they did, they had another kid to replace it.

How do you get involved with that? Did someone invite MV over to watch "Reservoir Dogs" and trick him, or (the real scary part) maybe he thought it would be interesting to watch dogs fight and that even though it's illegal, it's just dogs and I'm an all-star. MV's brother is starting not to look too bad.

So that is something I needed to get off my chest. Ron Mexico, if you're reading this I mean everything I have written. I still believe you have more talent than any human being has seen in my lifetime (Bo Jackson is a close second), but it’s a shame that it’s only in athletics.

Eric Goff had the front page on Sports this Sunday. It was a fantastic article.

Posted by James Mayo · May 29, 2007 3:36 AM · Comments (2)

I missed my poker game on Wednesday. I usually miss this game but for some reason I thought this was going to be the one where my friends would throw in their jewelry, watches and anything of value. I knew I was going to have the cards.

However, I sat at home and played with the kids. And by play, I mean took my oldest daughter for everything she owned (stuffed animals included) and my other little one didn't even have the heart to flip her cards over so she would put them in her mouth.

Most people would think, you need to take it easy on your kids while playing these fun home games like Hi/Lo Chicago, Follow the Queen and In-Between but if you saw how unmerciful my oldest is in Memory and Candy Land you would understand.

Needless to say I do have my reservations about teaching a child how to bluff, but she needs to know that a larger bet would make me fold.

Moving forward. I AM SICK OF APOLOGIES

Everyone is sorry for saying this, or retracking that or this was taken out of context. PLEASE.

What I have learned in the past few weeks:
1. Micheal Vick has participated in Dog Fighting.
2. Marvin Lewis thinks police officers profile (I don't think based on race but Bengals players)
3. Jason Giambi is ambiguously high or aloof. I am surprised Amphetamines are not a larger issue in the majors.
4. The Rangers are the worst team in the AL. Good thing we play great teams so we'll have attendance. I also vote that the games become free after the run given up by the Rangers.

I plan on writing about my experience to Discount Auto Tire with visuals next.

This is something new the Reporter-News has started. Its really raw, but I find it highly entertaining. Click on the Video Headlines.

Posted by James Mayo · May 25, 2007 2:10 PM · Comments (2)

Why in the world would I title a post "The Ride"? Is this going to be about a special drive around the loop (17mins is the shortest amount of time it has taken me). Or is this about a family drive to Chicago (14 hours from Dallas).

None of the above. This is about a song. One song that I have in my possession and no one else does. "The Ride."

Memory Lane (get comfortable, if I explain this well enough it could take a while):

The year was 1984. I was six years old. I loved ninjas. I mean loved ninjas. I think I was a ninja for Halloween 3 years in a row. Ninjas were and still are awesome.

"Karate Kid" was in the movies theater. Daniel Larusso had it all: Elizabeth Shue; he played soccer; and he could do Karate.

The soundtrack to this movie has always been an interesting conversation. Yes, these are the conversations I have on regular basis: "What songs were left off the soundtrack in ______ movie?"

For instance, "Forest Gump" left off several wonderful songs from its two-disc set.

Anywho, "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama was not on the "Karate Kid" soundtrack. Seriously, the best song from that movie is not on the soundtrack, unless your favorite part is the same as mine (because everyone likes the same part, right?) - when the motorcycles ride onto the beach and run over the jam box at the beach party. This is where Ali is learning how to juggle the soccer ball, and Daniel eventually gets beat-up with a swift kick in the stomach.

That song is called "The Ride." It was sung by a group called The Matches, and you will never find it. In fact, I would be willing to bet lunch at a restaurant of your choosing in Abilene, that you cannot find this song (I will need audio proof). This is in writing, so I guess I am bound by it.

However, I do possess a copy of this never released song, and now you can be jealous.

OK, seriously what is your favorite part? Vote in the poll.

Posted by James Mayo · May 22, 2007 3:41 PM · Comments (7)

It is official, since my inception, 525 people have viewed my writings. I would like to think I have enlightened 525 people but we all know that I have logged onto this site from 525 different computers surrounding Abilene.

I would like to make the following statement: "I'm sorry" I may have used performance enhancing drugs to get me where I am at. Over the past couple of days my head has gotten bigger and my walk more swaggered. I have been irritable and in my dealings with the press, I may have been unapproachable.

The cost of chicken has risen 4% over the past year. The price of gas has now reached an all-time high and David Robinson's Hoops rookie card (the one holding the jersey) can be bought at Rick's Collectibles for $15.00. Something is wrong with this world. I paid $33.00 for that card in 7th grade and thought it was a deal.

Look at our new Sports Editor, he is quite the softball player

Posted by James Mayo · May 18, 2007 9:05 PM · Comments (5)

Today... You will be reading this tomorrow... The media consultants, graphic designers and management all had lunch together. It was free too. Well, free to me and everyone else but not to E.W. Scripps.

There was a contest to see who could sell AND have the best response to a Christmas newsletter we sent out. Well, the number one newspaper in the E.W. Scripps world was your very own Abilene Reporter-News.

This is not a big deal to everyone but in our little bubble, it's pretty impressive.

So, in other news, I found out that I am not as cool as I once thought. My wife, who is my biggest fan but funniest commentator, has been in charge of proofreading my blog entries. Why, you ask?

Here's the long version:

I'm cheap. I mean super cheap. So we have this nice laptop computer we received for Christmas and it does not have MS Office on it. Now I know about 5 different places to get it for free, but I am trying to keep in mind what kind of example I want to set for my kids when they get older and see daddy pirating software. Never mind the fact that as I type this, I am connected to my next door neighbors' wireless internet without their knowledge. ID. (My acronym for "I digress," it's introducing me into texting, LOL.)

So I do not have spell check. Because of this, I will change the words I do not know how to spell into other ones that I do and will tend to spell out conjunctions because I remember an English teacher telling me something about that.

So my last post was about Baron Davis, still amazing, and as she would read the post she would laugh, look at me, shake her head and then you hear the typing. This is after I have made the post available on the site and it had probably been read like 1.5 million times or zero but still.

I then told her I would start to write these posts at work and then I could use MS Word to correct my errors. However, at work I really never get the opportunity because I'm out selling or trying to put together effective, creative programs to help my customers (insert sappy "company man" comment here or below). So I went home today and had this thought that I would give her the wonderful credit she is due because apparently I am a horrible speller.

I am excited about the JV NBA game that will be happening tomorrow between the Spurs and Suns. "I was subbing in"... seriously - who did Amare Stoudemire think he was fooling?

Look at this link, its about Dinosaur Bob, Abilene's Barbaro.

Posted by James Mayo · May 16, 2007 3:07 AM · Comments (2)

Who was Baron Davis before the playoffs?

a. The pilot of a an old plane
b. The guy from another country who recently came into a large sum of cash and wants to give it to you
c. The name of a horse at the Derby

After the playoffs started? He could be the most important person on the Warriors.

A friend of mine said that if Baron Davis wasn't on the court, the other Warrior players would just wander off the court and start to eat a fan's food.

Until last night, I would have laughed at that statement. The dunk that made the highlight reels was embarrassing.

P.S. Dirk was the best player in the NBA DURING the season. I feel bad that because he had such a poor showing in the playoffs he will never get accepted into the elite player society, like his old teammate did.

I miss Nellie. I can't help it. I love The Little General, but Nellie always had a trick. Don Nelson and Jimmy Johnson, you knew there was a chance as long as they were coaching the game.

A friend of mine wrote this article and I thought it was well done. Click here.

Posted by James Mayo · May 13, 2007 4:42 AM · Comments (3)

This is a sad day in my life. I am not a NASCAR fan at all. As an avid sports enthusiast and not being able to escape everything "SportsCenter" forces on me, I wanted to comment about Dale Jr.

WHAT AN IDIOT!!!! Seriously. . . Leaving your Dad's company because of an ego.

Dale Jr. is sponsored by Budweiser. Budweiser is the official beer sponsor of NASCAR. Dale Jr. wants to only drive Chevrolet's. This leaves three teams for him to go to: Hendrick, RCR and Gibbs Racing teams. How much of a dork am I for looking this crap up.

Here's what I need to know.

NASCAR was trying to help itself out by removing BUSCH from its NASCAR series heading (happens at the end of 2007). The Winston Cup became the Nextel Cup.

So when Joe Gibbs decides to make an offer, does Dale Jr. do what's right for the sport and turn the beer sponsor away, or does Joe Gibbs let up on his stance about alcohol?

From redskins.com:

Over the years, Gibbs' personal commitment and time at the home has turned hundreds of kids away from drugs, alcohol and crime, while demonstrating to them that they are each a valuable and important asset to this world.

Personally I think he goes to Hendrick and dumb "SportsCenter" will make a big deal about it. To be honest, I won't care but the morality of it all. I wonder if the right decision will be made.

What do you think?

Look at this: Interesting concept for a business.

Posted by James Mayo · May 11, 2007 9:00 AM · Comments (1)

So did you hear about this kid that had his face on a billboard and was arrested on suspicion of murder? Talk about bad luck

McMurry has been trying hard the past couple of months to get the word out about the new tablet PCs they will be handing out to all incoming freshmen. I think it's a fabulous idea.

I also think that putting the face of a student on a billboard is an effective marketing tool that blew up in their face. I just don't think they should have it held against them.

I know that when I see pictures of girls on the Pregnancy Resources billboard or the herpes commercial, I never think those people really have herpes.

I didn't go to McMurry or all of a sudden become a McMurry apologist, but ALL universities in Abilene have had something similar to this blow up in their face.

Posted by James Mayo · May 10, 2007 8:30 AM · Comments (1)

I can't give out that kind of information.

However, I do try to get out more often than not. So to get you somewhat aquainted with me, here it goes:

1. I was born in Dallas (real Dallas)
2. I married my best friend (that is so lame but its true)
3. The Mavericks are a way of life in my house
4. I do not play basketball
5. As much as I love Don Nelson is as much as I hate Golden State
6. My car has no air conditioning (by choice)

A crazy antidote about me is the following:

Many years ago, while single and working in Dallas, I got into a fight with CoServ electric company.

I received an electric bill that was way off the charts and I wasn't about to pay it, so I called them up and told them to turn it off. I was going to live without it. So I went to Wal-Mart purchased 3 lanterns and a battery powered lamp.

I then bought some hooks to put in the ceiling and bungee cords.

I then proceeded to hang the hooks from the ceiling and used the bungee cords to hold the lanterns.

See Example:

I proceeded to live for three weeks like this until my girlfriend (my lovely wife now) said that she would not come visit me if there was no electricity. I told her that we could just hang out at other places. I lost.

But it was comforting several weeks later when I heard this news: CoServ was going into Chapter 11. I like to think I had something to do with that.

Click on this link for something interesting

Posted by James Mayo · May 8, 2007 8:00 AM · Comments (3)

It rained in Abilene yesterday and the world shut down. I was happy to see everyone at work today because according to our local weather, it was going to be fierce. Really?

Abilene Weather, it’s spontaneous and rare. When it does rain, the weatherman get all dolled up and get ready for the 5 min interruptions, while you have a thunderstorm warning map in you upper left corner and a banner running across the bottom of the screen. This is all in case you can't hear, see or read.

Now most of this is not the Weather person's fault. They might have had dinner plans or a big date and then Mother Nature comes in with a some sprinkle and highjacks the TV like when the president comes on.

Maybe I'm bitter but the Internet seems like a polite way to force things on me. "Please click here for more info."

That way I'm asking to be bombarded and chances are the real reason for the coverage is because of the elderly or people in suburbs that need to know.

Please click here for more info.

Posted by James Mayo · May 7, 2007 9:55 PM · Comments (0)