From the last post we were all about to meet at the Lakehouse. 11 of us were accounted for and ready for a GUYS weekend.

We all unload or bags. For the record I had one duffle bag half full. Others had air mattresses, egg crates and lumbar support, two or three bags of clothes and magical electric pumps for putting air in the mattresses. It was unbelievable the amount of junk 10 other guys brought.

We all settled in and decided that it was time to start setting up the weekend activities. Item number one was to get the horseshoe pit up and running.

Did I mention that we made two stops before getting to the lake house looking for sand to make the pits with?

The pits are setup. Game one has begun. Someone has gone in and begun to marinate the pork chops that were easily one inch thick.

Everyone else decides to go swim in the lake or sit on top of the dock and mock us.

We have a late arrival show up brining us to the dirty dozen. This late arrival was able to find the lake house with no help at all, except the directions he had been provided by me. This is important

We eat some fantastic pork chops. Country Meat Market once again came through. Not to be outdone by some of the guy’s whimpiness, we did not use forks and knives but only our hands and plastic plates.

We had two pork chops left. Someone did not eat their pork chop because if he was to eat at that time he would have gone to sleep. He only ends his evening with a trip to Whataburger.

The remaining pork chop was for the 2nd place finisher of the Hofbrau Steak challenge back in '05.

Two of my friends had a competition one evening to see who could eat the most.

Brah, 6'2" 170 wet, was legendary for his ability to eat Subway sandwiches, pizzas, chipotle burritos and other large quantities of food for a meal.

Big Tex ( he has another nickname, this one I made up) is 6'5" 220 solid. I mean he doesn't look like me but he tries. He is just a large man that can eat large amounts of food. He also can be very scary. If you have bought a Volkswagen in the past year, you would know him.

These two had battled for months about who could out eat who and they have little satellite Eat Offs. This time we wanted a sanctioned event with real rules and accurate judging.

Enter the Hofbrau Steak Challenge. Hofbrau says that if you eat a 72oz steak with sides, you can leave without charge. If you don't you have to pay $50.00. Oh yeah, and it has to be done in an hour.

The stage is set. We all meet, the orders have been placed. Brah said that sometimes steak taste like air. It just doesn't affect him at all.

The timers were set and everyone was in anticipation of the whirlwind of feasting that was about to unfold. . . . .Until Brah let’s slip that 3 hours prior he had eaten like 3 lbs of BBQ. Would this change the outcome?

The steaks are brought out to the table like the money when the last two finalists in a WPT event get ready for battle. Parents are holding their kids a little closer. Older couples are asking for their checks to leave before the furry begins. Waiters are gathering like it’s a customer’s birthday.

Then the eating begins. Everyone is able to polish off the salad. Then the steaks. Slow and steady Brah takes it. His intestines are doubling in size as he chews every bite. Big Tex is chomping down steak like it’s his job and that night he wanted to clock out early (did I really just type that). BT is halfway done at the 20 minute mark. Brah has some work to do to catch up. With 17 minutes left BT puts down his fork. He said he was done and he wasn't going to push it one more bite. He had 7 bites left. Seven.

Brah had given up with 30 minutes left, or had he. No one finished the 72oz steak that night but there is still some theory about what was witnessed. BT ate majority of his steak in 40 minutes. Brah had whittled his down to a nub by the time we left the establishment.

We still wonder what would of happened had he not eaten 20lbs of BBQ before the meal. Maybe we will find out in a couple of weeks.

I would love to post photographs of this event but that would take too long.
----------------------------------------------------
Oh yeah, so Brah’s calling every 5 minutes trying to get directions from places I have never heard of before. Seven points or something. I also think of the Five Points from Gangs of New York but that’s my crazy mind at work.

Eventually Brah showed up and didn’t want his pork chop. He had stopped three times to eat on the way. He is the fittest of all the guys there.

I lost at poker that night and something happened with a toaster and the remaining pork chops, but this was a Bachelor Party and what makes a bachelor party memorable. . .

That's right 13 large guys on a barge boat.

Stay tuned for the next installment of GUN BARREL CITY PART III: No one left behind.