Main | Where's Lance when you need 'em? »
Congratulations to Me!
I found out recently that I contracted the worst sexually transmitted disease known to mankind - KIDS.
For now it's only one, but I heard after the first, it gets harder to stop. Kids show up in the family like a VW full of clowns.(without the big shoes of course)
My friends tell me they have a "surgery" for that, but no way Jose. I've been married for a little more than 2 years. I mean, what do I actually know?
Burping, changing, feeding and crying are four terms I haven't been related to for almost 24 years.
The doctor visits, the sleepless nights are shortly on the horizon, but my wife and myself made the decision as the family. Heck, I've never even held a kid, and now I have to worry about my own.
Now I guess it's time to be the man I was raised to be.
Kids aren't that bad. (so I hear) Besides being the life changing and altering experience, how could you not enjoy a little you running around, bare-bottomed getting into everything.
I'm nervous and stressed, but I know everything is going to be OK. For some reason or another it always works out in the end.
Seven more months and I'm going to have a crash course on diaper changing.
I've bought a few things - a UT baby outfit, it's first bottle and it's first "toy," as my wife likes to refer to "it" like we are about to give the "toy" to the dog.
I'm close to ripping my hair out. I have looked at so many baby names in the past few weeks I'm starting to create names from house-hold products.
Pinesol + Gerber's = Gersol (An ancient Japanese warrior term)
Kraft + Dove = Krove (the Sesame Street character banned for eating out of Oscar the Grouch's trashcan)
I know everyone says they want a healthy child. And everyday I throw a prayer to the big man upstairs asking for one, but what guy doesn't want a boy.
I would get to teach him how to throw a spiral, a curve, how to fish and most importantly how to gross out girls.
I don't know what to expect, but I'm as ready as I'm going to be.
Posted by Clayton Hein at 03:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Comments
Congratulations!
Ahh...you say you want a boy. Just wait until that precious little girl looks up and says "Daddy, can I have....?" You're doomed!! Like most men you will break out the checkbook. They are called Daddy's Girls for a reason.
Keep hoping for the boy but keep praying for ten little fingers and ten little toes.
Congrats! It will be the toughest job, but also the most fun. The first 3 months are the toughest, but it gets easier after that. And, by the way, you can teach a girl about sports and take her to games with you... it worked out well for me!
