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Jumper
June 25, 2008"Jumper," released on DVD recently, might have not gotten very good reviews, but I didn't have that many problems and actually like it.
Sure it was a popcorn production and Samuel L. Jackson hasn't broken his Mace Windu character since Star Wars, but "Jumper" wasn't half bad.
Speaking of Star Wars, the new Darth Vader, Hayden Christensen, is the lead of the show. He doesn't do a great job, but he isn't unbearable.The story starts when Hayden was about 13-ish years old. He's got a crush on a girl, who grows up to be the character played by Rachel Bison.
Hayden wants to give the girl a snowglobe, but a bully throws the thing and the globe lands on a thin layer of ice.
Hayden goes to get the globe and falls through the ice into the freezing water. He then transports to the Ann Arbor Public Library (Michigan).
Then the movie starts to take shape. He can go where he wants when he wants. Some of the opening sequences - him on top of the Sphinx eating, transporting around his house - are a comic book enthusiast's dream.
The movie, as I later found out, was adopted from a comic book idea. The producers of the movie took a couple of liberties, but doesn't every one when making a movie.
After 25 odd years of going where he wants Hayden is detected by a separate, religious like, group who don't believe "jumpers" or teleporters should exist.
The sect is lead by Samuel L. And the chase is on.
Like I said - the movie is worth a view or two. I was surprised after I watched it, so I watched it again.
There wasn't much else at the video store so I had to settle, and I'm glad I did.
Posted by Clayton Hein at 12:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Madden Ratings
June 19, 2008So EA Sports has given a sneak peak to the Madden junkies recently and there is still no current player ranked at a 100.
Yes there are some with a 100 rankings in particular areas -- Devin Hester (speed), Patriots WR Randy Moss (jumping), Saints RB Reggie Bush (agility), Browns WR Braylon Edwards (spectacular catch), Pats QB Tom Brady and Colts QB Peyton Manning (awareness), Raiders K Sebastian Janikowski (kick power), and Jets T Wayne Hunter (morale).
An ESPN article takes a look at the Madden rankings.
Hester complained before the previous year's game was released and he got what he wanted, 100 ranking on his speed.
My fanhood of Madden has waned over the years. I loved playing the game in college, but over the years the game has lost a little of its luster.
Sure when I buy this year -- Brett Favre is on the cover this year -- it I'll stay up at all hours of the night playing, but I can't sustain that type of activity for more than one week.
Babies wear people out faster than video games.
Posted by Clayton Hein at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
If only David had used a thong to take down Goliath
I'm not sure if a lot of people are aware of the story, but a lady has decided to take on the consumer powers that be and sue Victoria's Secret.
That's right, Vicky Cs. The woman was putting on a thong when, BAM!, the damn thing broke and popped her in the eye.
She was down for the count. She was out like a light. She was counting sheep. (Enough of that.)
So anyways, the woman goes to the hospital to get checked out and visions of dollar bills are dancing in her head.
Her eye's cut and she doesn't have a good corner man. I'm assuming she's panicking, wondering if she'll ever be able to see again.
I'm a boxer guy. (Bet you couldn't have guessed that by looking.) And I don't think any amount of money could convince me to put one on.
Back to the lawsuit. I'm assuming sometime later, after much peer pressure in the sue-happy world, someone convinces her to take a shot at the Vicky Cs pile of cash.
While I was watching the story on the "Today Show," all I could do was laugh in disgust.
My wife said something along the lines of "she was probably too fat to wear the thing!"
I laughed harder after that.
She probably was, or she washed the thong one too many times and the material got stressed.
Anyways, imagine in David had taken on Goliath with said thong. I imagine we would be telling children a different story and how the injury took more than an eye out.
I say if you wear a thong you should subscribe to the age old say "an eye for an eye."
You want guys to look. Take that.
Posted by Clayton Hein at 8:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Be Kind Rewind
June 16, 2008So the new movie -- 'Be Kind Rewind' -- starring Jack Black and Mos Def is pretty good, but pretty slow.
Black plays the looney toon. Mos Def plays the voice of in-and-out reason.
Mos works in a VHS rental store for Danny Glover. Yes, VHS. There's isn't a DVD in sight. But business must go on.
Then, the city, like they always do, tries to take away Danny's business.
Danny leaves town and puts Mos in charge of the store. Then Jack ruins everything -- or so it might seem.
He becomes magnetized after an evil plan goes awry. Jack walks into the store and wipes all fo the tapes clean. Everybody wants to rent something and Mos panics.
Then Mos and Jack start their own production company and, voila, magic. Now everyone one in the small New Jersey town can't get enough of what Mos and Jack are making.
They try to get the money to save the building before its condemned. You don't really know if it happens though.
They decided to go out with one final bang after the "man," aka the movie companies, come in with a lawsuit and start destroying everything the Mos and Jack brothers have worked so hard to create.
That's the movie in a nutshell.
The jokes are there, but they are far between. I liked their interpretations of some of the films they recreated as well.
But there just wasn't enough heart at the core of the movie. The story revolves around the life of Fats Waller.
Before the movie I had never heard of Waller, but he's an actual musician. Mos keeps Fats on a pedestal the entire movie and it doesn't really feel warranted.
They continue to build up Fats for Mos' character, but it didn't really connect.
Anyways, it's not a bad movie, especially if you're a Jack Black fan, which I am, but it's not that great. If you want a better Black film rent "High Fidelity" for the 100th time and stare into his crazy eyes.
Here's a little nugget if you're interested.
Posted by Clayton Hein at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Letters to the Editor, June 13
June 13, 2008Thanks Mr. Moeller for your valuable opinion. Too bad you were never a kid.
A parent deserves a night out once in a while. Sometimes you can get a babysitter, other times you can't.
What can you do? Enjoy a little time away from life at a decent dinner or a movie, go to the theater or sit at home and stew in miserableness?
I've taken my son, now 16-months old, out to eat and I feel awful when he starts to act up. I don't really know what to do. I can't really discipline him too much. He doesn't know what's going on.
I hate not being able to control those types of situations, but that's just me, I'm a control freak.
But Charles Moeller, of Wichita Falls, whoever you are, pipe down. So you had a crappy meal adjacent to two parents who didn't want to make their night out about jerking a knot in their kids' tales.
Get over it. I can't believe you actually wrote a letter to the editor expressing your unhappiness.
Politics, sports, local heroics - all three topics are popular in letters to the ed, but you chose to go ranting about the state of parenting at a local eatery.
Maybe next time you can complain to the manager and get a free discount from the restaurant for not having police-parenting policies in place.
Would you rather have kids screaming at a restaurant, or some knuckleheads running around at 2 a.m. doing God knows what?
Your choice.
Posted by Clayton Hein at 8:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Weezer the creative genius
June 3, 2008For anyone who at one time has loved the internet more than live itself, then this is the video for you.
Weezer has created another visual treat with the lead single, "Pork and Beans," off the new album that comes out today. It's self titled and it's red all over the place, so hopefully, you can't miss it at Best Buy or wherever.
They've done videos with the muppets. They've done video with Playmates. And now they tied every internet sensation video into one.
The dancing guy, got it. The same picture, same face every-day guy, got that too. The awesome Star Wars Darth Maul knockoff nerd, oh yeah...we got it.
I laughed the second and third and fourth times I watched this. Not so much on the fifth though.
Weezer, I salute you the collective. You are genius. You've been doing it for years and maybe others outside of your nerd quota will start to take notice.
Here's a link to Youtube's Weezer videos.
Posted by Clayton Hein at 1:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
