Reasons to be an American male (in Texas)
The latest issue of Esquire magazine includes a mildly funny two-page spread listing 50 reasons it's great to be an American male these days.
I think they missed quite a few, especially when it comes to being a Texas man.
And they sure got some wrong, like three-bean chili. Real men don't eat beans in chili, at least not in Texas.
They got some right, though, good reasond for counting yourself lucky that you're not an English man or, praise the Lord, a Frenchman.
He'res my 50, in no particular order and including a few from Equire's list, which will be marked by an asterisk:
1. Drive-up beer joints like P2 and the Bar-L, where you can still get curb service.
2. The red draw.
3. Branding Iron barbecue.
4. Tascosa Hot Sauce out of Amarillo
5. That the Texas Legislature meets only every two years for six months.
6. Gene's Tasty Burger, Pat's Drive-Inn and Scott's Drive Inn.
7. The Oyster Bar.
8. Full-quill ostrich skin cowboy boots.
9. But Light.
10. Cornbread, fried okra and fresh homegrown tomatoes.
11. Mama's homemade cherry pie with fruit picked from out behind the back of the house.
12. The Davis Mountains.
13. Oil royalties.
14. NFL Sunday ticket.*
15. Friday night football.
16. Cussing and discussing Friday-night football on Saturday morning at the DQ.
17. Cornbread.*
18. Pinto beans slow-cooked with fatback.
19. Jalapeno peppers.
20. The girls of summer with their belly buttons showing.
21. 3-in-1 oil.*
22. The Alamo.
23. The Bullock Museum
24. The Panhandle-Plains Historical Museum in Canyon.
25. The Nimitz Museum in Fredericksburg.
26. The stallions at Las Colinas.
27. Perinni's steak house outside Abilene.
28. Palo Duro Canyon State Park.
29. We're not Oklahoma.
30. But, we we can drive only 20 minutes to gamble or buy cheap cigarettes.
31. Gimme caps.
33. The fact our governor has powers limited by the prescient authors of our state constitution after Reconstruction.
34. Deer-hunting in the Hill Country.
35. Pheasant hunting in the Panhandle.
36. The astronomy festival near Crowell.
36. Frontier Texas at Abilene.
37. Dell started making computers here.
38. Wine in a box.*
39. Wild hogs (Ok, this is a stretch, but there's got to be a market out there somewhere for this smelly beats).
40. Texas wineries, including the one here and the one near Alvord and the ones in the Hill Country.
41. The grilled cheese sandwich.
42. The Air Force.
43. Homemade ice cream.
44. Corsicana Fruit Cake (controversial, of course)
45. Midwestern State University.
46. Fresh peaches at Charlie, Thornberry and the Hill Country.
47. Our mixture of culturse.
48. The number of straight, off-the-beaten-path highways that's let you hit at least 100 without worry about a trooper.
49. Stocked lakes.
50. A.J. Foyt, Eddie Hill and Loyd Ruby.
