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Testicles
May 12, 2007Testicles. Testicles. Testicles.
I have said that word more in the last two weeks than I have my whole life.
What started with a simple story about the upcoming Rocky Mountain oyster festival in Throckmorton this weekend turned into a long, in-depth piece about the Old West cuisine, complete with a pseudo-expose about the shortage of calf fries.
Apparently, pharmaceutical companies are buying up the balls to use in drugs like Viagra.
Or so that's what numerous calf fry afficionadoes told me.
I spent one day calling basically every meat supplier/trader in North Texas to see if they a) sold calf fries and b) if they were also experiencing a shortage.
The conversation always went the same.
"Hello, my name is Lara Richards and I am a reporter with the Times Record News in Wichita Falls, Texas. I'm doing a story about calf fries, and I was wondering if you packaged and shipped them?"
What?
"You know, mountain oysters?"
What?
And then I'd get exasperated and immediately un-shy.
"Testicles. Do you sell calf testicles? Bull balls?"
This is the point in the conversation when they assumed I was a prank call. Or crazy. Or nuts, ba-dum-pum.
(Yes, I'm full of bad calf fry puns at this point.)
One meat supplier simply said, "There's not that many people eating organs anymore."
Another man acted completely disgusted.
"We don't deal with that kind of situation," he said, and immediately hung up.
That kind of situation?
I'm a reporter doing a real, live story.
I'm not a perv. I'm not some testicle enthusiast. I'm not dealing beastiality porn.
I just wanted to freaking know if they sold calf fries.
I know, I'm getting testy. (Bad pun No. 2)
Some people didn't even bother to call me back. They left me hanging. (No. 3)
All in all, it has been one of the strangest, most humorous stories I've ever worked on.
But I'm glad it's come to a close.
So are my pod-mates at the paper. They told me the other day that they're getting tired of the testicle talk.
Me, too.
Testicles. Testicles.
I promise, that's my last pair. (No. 4)
Posted by Lara Richards at 12:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
