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Price for Saddam hanging was way too high

December 28, 2006

The headline on Page 7A of Thursday’s paper made me smile.
“Sentence Upheld: Saddam ordered to be executed within 30 days�

That means sometime between right now and the Super Bowl, somebody in Baghdad is going to tie a rope around this old bastard’s worthless neck and hang his sorry ass.

But thanks to another headline one page earlier, I really can’t celebrate this hanging like I would like to.
That headline on Page 6A Thursday said:
“Heavy Toll: Military deaths in Iraq exceed 9-11 mark�

As much as I want to see Saddam Hussein hang, the price to do it was way too costly.
On Christmas -- of all days -- our military death toll in Iraq, surpassed 2.973.
That was the number of people killed when the terrorists attacked us on Sept. 11, 2001.

And the number has risen since then, and it will keep rising until somebody puts an end to this stupid, stupid war.

I was happy to see that former President Gerald Ford took an opposite view of this war than that of most of his Republican Party friends.

Ford, who died this week, did an interview with Bob Woodward of the Washington Post back in July of 2004, before Iraq really got out of hand. The interview was embargoed until after his death.

Ford told Wooward that “Rumsfeld and Cheney and the president made a big mistake in justifying going to war in Iraq. They put the emphasis on weapons of mass destruction. And now, I’ve never publicly said I thought they made a mistake, but I felt very strongly it was an error in how they should justify what they were going to do.�

Donald Rumsfeld, then the defense secretary, and Vice President Dick Cheney had held prominent positions during the Ford presidency. Rumsfeld had been Ford’s chief of staff and later his Pentagon chief. Cheney had been his White House chief of staff.

Ford disagreed with the U.S. entering a conflict with the idea of spreading democracy -- the same excuse we gave for Vietnam.

“I just don’t think we should go hellfire damnation around the globe in freeing people, unless it is directly related to our own national security,� Ford said.

If Ford had been president, this country would never have invaded Iraq.

And some 3,000 American military men and women would still be alive today.

To read all of Bob Woodward’s interview with Gerald Ford click on http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/27/AR2006122701558_pf.html

It’s a really good read.

Posted by at 8:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Will the real Ralphie Parker please stand up

December 21, 2006

They say all of us have a double -- somebody who is the spitting image of us.
In this town, Harold Hawkins must be mine. Although I know I am much, much prettier than the former city councilman, I have been called him, and he has been called me more times than either of us want to remember.

Some women here at work found a Web site where they compare facial features from your picture and tell you which celebrities have the same features as you.
Sharing my face were Elton John, Dick Cheney and Colin Powell.
Personally, I think I look much more resemble maybe Matthew McConaughey or Brad Pitt or maybe a white Denzel Washington.

OK, it’s Christmas -- a time to fess up and be honest.
When I was a kid, I looked like Ralphie Parker.

Don’t remember Ralphie?
Well turn on your TV to the TBS network at 7 p.m. on Christmas Eve and you watch 24 straight hours of Ralphie.
He’s the star of “The Christmas Story.�
(To all of you who have been living on another planet and don’t know what Ralphie looks like, go to http://www.celebritynooz.com/images/peter_billingsley_then.jpg and compare him and me.)

The photo on this page of little Nicky Gholson sitting on the lap of a Sears store Santa is living proof that I was once Ralphie Parker.
Since I came out of my mama’s womb wearing nerdy glasses, I’m not sure what age I was when this picture was taken.
Actor Peter Billingsley was 11 when he played Ralphie -- a bit old to believe in Santa Claus.

I was 9 when a kid at school told me there was no Santa Claus and laughed at me for believing there was.
He then proceeded to whip my butt and -- nothing like Ralphie when he fought the neighborhood bully Scut Farkus.

Like Ralphie, I always wanted a BB gun for a Christmas. But I also wanted a bike.
Santa never delivered either.
I didn’t get the BB gun for fear that “you’ll shoot your eye out.�
I later found out that my parents wouldn’t’ buy things like that for me because we always lived in a neighborhood where those kinds of things would be stolen in a week or two.
A BB gun or bike would end up in the same place as my daddy’s hub caps.

I also never sent off for a Little Orphan Annie secret decoder pin, but I did buy a Winky Dink set that allowed me to put a plastic screen on my TV and decode secret messages that would help me save Winky and his pals.

And that word -- “the big one; the queen mother of dirty words -- the f-dash-dash-dash word?�
I first saw it on the bathroom wall at Austin School when I was 6.
If someone had washed out my mouth with a bar of soap every time I said the “queen mother� in the last 54 years, I would certainly have the cleanest mouth in Wichita County.

You know what happened to me.
But what happened to Ralphie Parker after he made that movie in 1983?
His biggest acting role was in a movie called “The Hoboken Chicken Emergency� where he played opposite Gabe Kaplan and a 266-pound chicken named Henrietta.
You may also have seen Peter Billingsley in guest appearances on the TV shows Who’s the Boss, Punky Brewster and Highway to Heaven. Or in game show appearances on the Super Teens episode of Family Feud or Celebrity Hot Potato.

If you want to see what the actor/producer/director looks like today check out
http://www.celebritynooz.com/images/peter_billingsley_now.jpg

We still look alike -- don’t you think?

Posted by at 8:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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The former editor of the Weekly Reader is a pervet?

December 14, 2006

It seems like we could just about fill up our paper every day with stories about meth busts and pedophiles.
In fact, they have become so common, they are now boring.

Years ago, I used to always read drug bust stories -- mainly to see if my name was in it. If not me, most of my buddies showed up from time to time.
Today, not only do I not know the name of the bustees -- I don’t even know the names of the drugs.

Enough of that.
On to sex perverts.

A Catholic priest seduces a 10-year-old altar boy?
It’s barely news anymore.
We learned long ago that abstinence makes the hard grow fonder.

Instant messages, chat rooms and email have exposed much of the male population as being perverts.
Congressmen, Baptist preachers, coaches, teachers --
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker --

But a headline in today’s paper make me do a double-take.
“Former editor guilty of sex solicitation.�

My first thought was “Oh, my Lord, they’ve busted Carroll Wilson.�

Then I realized it said “former� editor.�

I know a lot of “former editors.� In fact, “editor� is even in my job title, although I think it is only there so they won’t have to pay me overtime.
The only thing probably keeping me from being a “former editor� is one of these blogs.

But today’s story wasn’t just about any old editor.

The guilty pervert was the former editor of the Weekly Reader.

I and most of you grew up with the Weekly Reader. All through elementary school, it was passed out to us every week.
I loved the Weekly Reader.
It probably shaped my life.
I chose journalism as a profession because of that little newspaper.

Well, not really, but it makes for a better story.
Truth is I used to hang out in a pool hall and noticed how every day two guys came in around lunchtime and shot pool to around 6 in the evening.
I asked the guy running the pool hall where these two guys worked. He told me “the newspaper.�
I wanted a job that let you spend six or seven hours in a pool hall every day, so I signed up for journalism at MSU.
Later, I learned the two guys at the pool hall were Ed Barnett and Marvin Penrod. Ed was the grandson of the publisher and Marvin was his best friend and confidante.

Pardon the interruption.

OK, so the Weekly Reader wasn’t what got me into my chosen profession, but I really did look forward to getting one every week back in grade school.
And to think that the editor of the Reader is out there soliciting sex with 14-year-old boys.
If you wanted to do that buddy, you should have been a priest or run for Congress.

What’s next -- the editor of Boys Life?

Posted by at 8:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

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How the Grinch stole Christmas bonuses

December 7, 2006

For the first 20-something years I worked here at the paper, I always received a Christmas bonus.
The first one was for 7 dollars and 50 cents.
The last one was for 750 dollars.
The December bonus was the boss’ way of saying “merry Christmas� and “thank you� to his employees -- most of who lived from paycheck to paycheck and really counted on the extra dollars to buy a Christmas present or two.

Every year there was a standing joke around the office at Christmas.
“I heard nobody was getting a Christmas bonus this year. They’re giving us all a ham.�
But then every year -- usually on the day we had our annual Times Record News Christmas luncheon -- we got that extra check.

Then some time in the mid-90s, the Grinch showed and stole Christmas.
Not only was there no extra check, we didn’t even get a damn ham.
Or membership in the “Jam of the Month Club.�

But God rest ye, merry gentlemen -- let nothing you dismay.
We aren’t giving you Christmas bonuses any more but guess what?
We are going to do something even better.
We are going to give out 15 cent certificates to all you good boys and girls.

So in lieu of Christmas bonuses, the Grinch came up with the annual TRN awards presentation.
Now every year, on the same day as our Christmas luncheon, they hand out certificates for:

Excellence award: “This honor is bestowed on employees who are truly special.�
This means everyone else is only ordinary.

Rookies of the year: This is for newcomers “who have made a significant impact on the organization.�
Or new reporters who have yet to get us sued.

Most Valuable Player: “For the person who is an outstanding performer in each department.�
You can bet this person will be hated by his co-workers for a long, long time.

Then they name the manager of the year, the department of the year and the most improved department of the year.

The winners get their pictures taken with the boss.
The losers have to sit there and smile and act like they are happy to be ordinary.

So today instead of handing out a few bucks and making all of the TRN employees merry and bright, we hand out certificates and piss off about 80 percent of the people who work here.

Great idea, Grinch.
You certainly deserved “manager of the year� for that stroke of genius.

Posted by at 8:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

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Going weekly -- but only for awhile

December 4, 2006

With the new year quickly approaching and a lot of my “personal time off� yet to be taken, I will be off for several days the next few weeks.
So for the rest of this year, I will only be writing a weekly blog every Thursdays.

Please keep reading.
And if you need a daily Nick fix, check out some of my archived blogs. There are more than 150 to choose from.
See you Thursday.

Posted by at 7:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Blogs you won't remember and should forget

December 1, 2006

During lunch with some ladies at the paper on Thursday, I started talking about the first blogs I wrote while covering the Winter Olympics in Turin last February.
They had me writing them on yourhub.com
Only problem was the paper had not yet launched yourhub.com and nobody knew where to find these blogs.
Here are a couple of them -- that I know you don’t remember

IDay 3 in Turrin)
s anybody out there?
Does anybody in this world know I am writing this junk?
Please email me gholsonn@timesrecordnews.com and tell me. I can recommend a good psychiatrist; get you a Prozac prescription.
I had a really bad writing day today (Sunday). I covered women's speedskating and they sucked. Didn't win a medal. So my assignment then was to not write about it. I did that.
Did a "In the Nick of Turin" on something I covered Saturday. Read it in Monday's paper. And then throw up. I will do better tomorrow. Cant' do any worse.

(Day 4)
Man, this blog-writing is getting lonely.
I know nobody is reading this stuff, but I keep on writing it.
Maybe if I were to write those "seven words you can't say on television" that George Carlin used to talk about. Robert Jeffress would find out, read my blog and start getting me some readers.
Nah.
Tuesday is Valentine's Day, and Italy doesn't give a you know what.
I miss my Valentine -- Jenee'.
If you see her, tell her you read this blog and .......................what am I doing? Nobody reads this.
The paper wants us to do it, but they don't promote it. And it's on this website where people publish photos of their parrots.
What kind of website is this any way?
OK, I'm going to say it -- those seven words.
Nah.
The best thing about Italy is the food.
But I have eaten so much pasta that i's all going to my butt.
You can say butt, can't you?
Won a second gold medal today -- both in speedskating.
Go USA

Posted by at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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