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Keep the baggy pants; Save the tattooed butt crack

September 17, 2007

We used to have a hefty bag of a business editor here at the paper who came to work every day wearing an under-arm stained white shirt (missing at least one X); a clip-on tie and a pair of pants about one "X" too big.
And no belt.
Some afternoons phones all over the newsroom would ring at the same time.
That signaled one thing.
"CRACK ALERT"

Big Joe's butt would be shining brightly.
Nobody really wanted to see it, but everybody looked.

The only butt cracks I care about looking at are young, attractive women.
Pardon the pun, but scratch that.
I am old. I can't be picky (pardon again).
The only butt cracks I care about looking at are women's.

I love those little (and sometimes big) tattoos that girls now at least partially expose to us with hip-hugger jeans and shorts.
Birds and butterflies and hearts -- stuff like that is cute.
But did you girls ever think about being walking billboards?
"Eat at Pioneer"
"Trucks, truck, trucks, we got 'em"
"Viva Viagara"

There are businesses out there who will buy your butt crack.

OK, Nick, we already knew you were a dirty old man -- but get to the point.
Why are you writing about butt cracks?

There is a story in our paper today about how some towns are making it illegal for guys to wear baggy jeans.
It says:
"At the extreme end (another pun), wearing pants low enough to show boxers or bare buttocks in one small Louisiana town means six months in jail and a $500 fine."

And
"A crackdown (another pun) is also being pushed in Atlanta."

Now Trenton, N.J. is considering fining guys for baggy pants and then making them go through counseling.

Give me a break.

If a guy wants to wear baggy jeans, let him. We have enough problems in this country. We don't need the fashion police out there arresting people for not dressing like they want them to dress.

Plus, if you start arresting guys for baggy jeans, what's next -- will girls have to cover up their tatooed butts?

A councilwoman in Trenton, who is drafting the law to outlaw saggy pants, said: "The message is clear. We don't want to see your backside."

Then turn your head, lady.
And let me see those butterflies.

Posted by at 8:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Comments

Hey Nick the articles appear to be aimed at the young men not the young girls.Don't worry there are enough old men who will see that its just a male only ordinance or law. Letm'' shine letm'' shine

Posted by: Harold Hawkins | September 17, 2007 12:00 PM

I do not care to see either .

Posted by: Anonymous | September 17, 2007 2:25 PM

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