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There's a book in my mind, hopefully a best-seller
October 29, 2009My wife wants me to write a book.
She has heard all of my old stories over and over and over again and says she thinks other people would be interested in reading about my life.
Maybe she is just tired of hearing them and knows that if I am busy writing a book, I won't have time to keep repeating them to her.
Whatever.
She has pretty much convinced me to do it.
My life can be divided into two parts.
There's Nicky -- the guy I was before 1972.
Then there's Nick -- the guy I have been since then.
If you knew Nicky, you really know me.
(Please don't tell)
But most people only know me through my job here at the paper, which began in April 1972. It was then that I dropped the "y" from my first name so my byline would be more mature.
Nicky's life centered around pool halls and bars for several years.
There is where the really good stories come from.
If you check out Wikopedia, I am there.
The online encyclopedia describes my life in two short paragraphs. -- 63 words (but who's counting?).
Mitch Albom is also a sports writer, but his Wikopedia biography is longer than most books in the New Testament.
The Detroit Free Press columnist is described as "best-selling author, journalist, screenwriter, playwright, radio and television broadcaster and musician."
The best-selling author part is what intrigues me.
It all started with some sports books that you have never heard of and then developed into "Tuesdays with Morrie." The book reportedly has sold over 14 million copies and has been translated into 41 languages and made Mitch a whole lot more money than he ever earned covering the Lions.
Then came "The Five People You Meet in Heaven."
That is the one that is now inspiring me.
My book could be titled "The Five People There Is No Chance in Hell You Will Ever Meet in Heaven."
Too long, I know, but my idea is to write a book about the five strangest people I have ever known.
Having grown up here in Hooterville Falls, it will take a long time for me to narrow the list down to just five. But I can also save some for my sequel(s).
At the top of my list is Gary Suiter, a 6-9 basketball player, pool hustler, con man, thief and general all-around pain in the ass who was at Midwestern back in the late 60s.
I will keep you up to date every week or so on the progress I am making.
You start saving up to buy several copies.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Senior photo leaves doubts about attending class reunion
October 28, 2009"To fame and fortune, we will soar. Senior Class of 64."
In high school, I was one of those kids who really didn't fit in.
I was short.
I wore nerdy glasses.
I didn't have a car.
I didn't have any money.
I was not a star athlete.
I was not in the National Honor Society.
I was really nobody.
So I have never attended any of my class reunions.
Why should I?
Isn't four years of suffering enough punishment for one guy?
But last week, thanks to Facebook, I was reunited with several others from Wichita Falls High School's senior class of 1964.
I probably still don't have much in common with these people, but the older you get, the more you enjoy reminiscing about the past.
I was really enjoying looking at the current pictures of all of my classmates, while at the same time wondering why they all got so old and I am still a youthful, handsome dude.
But not long after I joined the group, the woman who started the site put my high school annual picture up for everybody to see.
I need to call my lawyer.
This is surely worth some kind of big lawsuit.
I have told you this before, but as a kid, I was Ralphie on "A Christmas Story."
The spitting image of that nerdy little kid.
As much as I've tried to forget my 17-year-old self, now here I am on the world wide web for everyone to see.
A fat-faced kid with glasses, a flat top, a phony smile and a Subway suit.
I'm not talking about the 5-dollar foot long Subway.
Back in the old days, the Hub was a really nice downtown men's clothing store.
The Subway was in the basement of the store and had cheap stuff for us poor and needy folks.
My grandmother took me to Subway and bought me a cheap suit and a clip-one tie to wear to church on Sunday.
Senior photos required a suit and tie, so little Nicky wore his Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes to school on picture day.
I was a virgin when I graduated from high school, and I still blame picture day for that.
I didn't even like crawling into bed with myself every night.
Now these people are talking about getting together for a 50th reunion in 2014.
I would really like to attend, but every time I look at the annual picture, I change my mind.
And after looking at the high school pictures of others in my class, they may be thinking the same thing.
I wasn't the only nerd in town.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
If you can read this, I'm back with my cheek turned
October 27, 2009I'm baaaaaack -- again.
My absence from you the past few days was mostly a technical problem -- but also a bit of a "pissed off" problem.
I wrote this great blog last week, slamming Rush Limbaugh for even thinking the NFL would allow his fat ass to own a part of a team in its league.
I used as evidence a lot of his racist comments.
All of you whose brains haven't been washed by Fox News would have loved it.
But I couldn't get it printed on our Web site.
The guy in charge of stuff like that said it was a corporate problem.
I was assured that Fox had not bought the TRN. My liberal thoughts were not being censored.
Still, I got pissy.
How dare I write such great prose and nobody is able to read it.
I pouted for a couple of days and have now gotten over it.
So hopefully everything is fixed and you are reading this.
In fact, if I had it all to do over again, I would not have written my bash Rush blog.
"An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" may be in the Bible, but too many people use it as an excuse to get even.
In my profession it is so easy to bash the basher.
Somebody writes or say something you don't agree with, you run to the computer and tell the world what an idiot he is for thinking differently from yours.
That's how Fox News stays in business.
But real journalists should have learned with experience that we shouldn't shoot the messenger just because we don't like the message.
So from now on, instead of "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," I will take the "turn the other cheek approach."
Even when the messenger's name is Rush and his message sucks.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Levi Johnston's sudden fame land him gig with Playgirl
October 8, 2009I overheard a conversation this morning between a couple of female co-workers.
They were talking about Levi Johnston posing nude for Playgirl magazine.
I must be out of touch.
First off, I didn't know who Levi Johnston was.
Second, I didn't know Playgirl was still in business.
Had Americans made the wrong decision last year and put John McCain in the White House, Levi Johnston would have been within an "I do" and a heartbeat of being this country's first son-in-law.
He was the kid who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter.
The two broke up right after their son was born last December.
Levi has since been trying to cash in on his sudden fame.
He wants to be an actor, but so far his only gig has been a TV commercial for pistachios.
Then Playgirl called.
I remember the magazine started back in 1973 when the feminist movement was in full swing -- the girl answer to Playboy and Penthouse.
But since the magazine hadn't called me wanting my sexy body on its centerfold, I just figured the magazine had folded.
They just don't know what they are missing.
So what if Levi Johnston is 19 years old and has muscles
I am 62 years old and have a skin rash.
His only claim to fame is he knocked up a girl whose mother may run for president.
I once knocked up a girl who voted for president.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
How to win the lottery and end up in a trailer
October 7, 2009So what would you do if you won the lottery?
Pay off all your bills?
Buy a big house.
Buy a nice car.
Buy hot women (or men)?
My suggestion to all big lotto winners would be immediately phone Lou Eisenberg -- aka Lucky Louie or Light bulb Lou.
He's not hard to find.
He now lives in a trailer house in Lake Worth, Fla.
Lucky Louie used to live in an ocean view condo.
That was right after he won $5 million in a lottery in 1981.
At the time, it was the highest amount ever paid out in a U.S. lottery.
Lou -- who was earning $225 a week changing light bulbs in a midtown New York office building -- was a great story back then. He was interviewed by Johnny Carson and Regis.
Now, 28 years later, he is broke.
A $219,000 a year pay check ($130,000 after taxes) is now $250 per week.
So what went wrong? lavish vacations, slow horses and bad women.
He and his second wife divorced. She got the gold mine. He got the shaft.
He married a third time. Another divorce.
(Damn, this is getting to sound familiar; not the lottery; the divorces)
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
No thanks to neighbors and National Night Out
October 6, 2009I know tonight is National Night Out -- but I'm going to stay in.
I don't want to know my neighbors.
I know Mel, who has been my neighbor to the right for 21 years.
I know Ronnie across the street, who has also been living there ever since I moved in.
Last Sunday, as I was sitting in the recliner watching football, a woman knocked on my door and invited me to some shindig tonight at the Wilson House.
I was polite.
I smiled, took her invitation and then tore it up and threw it in the trash as soon as I shut the door.
I know the neighbors I want to know.
As for the rest of you, leave me alone.
I don't do volleyball or horseshoes or pot luck suppers.
I drink beer, watch TV and eat whatever I want.
I voted Democrat.
There that should scare them off.
I hate family gatherings that involve anybody other than my wife, my son, my daughter, my son-in-law, my stepson and my grandson.
So if I don't want to sit around and talk Cowboys with in-laws and outlaws, what makes you think I want to sit around and talk Cowboys with you and your family?
Once you start knowing a bunch of neighbors, then they put a target on your back.
They start inviting you to their church. No thanks.
Or their cult. No thanks.
Or their civic club. No thanks.
Eventually they will want your e-mail address and start sending you those things you are supposed to forward to 10 friends or die before sundown.
And when their kids have to sell cookie dough or Christmas cards or some other b.s., they feel they have the right to send them to your house.
After all, you are their neighbor.
So I'm skipping the big party tonight.
But nobody will miss me.
How could they?
They don't know me.
Just the way I like it.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
When Romo really stinks, why not go to the bullpen?
October 5, 2009From game to game, you just never know what you are going to get with Tony Romo.
Some days he can look like the second coming of Joe Montana.
Then other days he looks more like Joe the Plumber.
Early on Sunday afternoon it was obvious to me, you and the legally blind that this was one of those days that Romo should have brought a wrench and plunger to work with him.
OK, I know that all that goes wrong with the Dallas Cowboys is not the fault of the starting quarterback.
This team has no real No. 1 receiver.
The real head coach is sitting in the owner's box,
And the offensive coordinator has the imagination of a tackling dummy.
But even all that could not hide the fact that Romo sucked in Denver.
When this guy can't even find his No. 82 security blanket in a game, you know he's in big trouble.
So, I ask, when a head coach -- even a puppet head coach -- knows that his quarterback is really sucking, why can't he go to the bullpen?
It works in baseball.
Why not football?
Cy Young had days when he sucked.
So did Sandy Koufax and Bob Gibson and Roger Clemens.
Managers never hesitated to take them out of games.
Jon Kitna might not be very good, but it's hard to believe that he could be any worse than Romo was against the Broncos.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 10:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
I love October; It's a sports fan's dream
October 1, 2009Welcome, October.
This is the first day of my favorite month of the year.
October is the only month in which you can watch all four major professional sports.
The NHL has begun.
The baseball playoffs begin next week.
The NFL is in full swing.
The NBA begins on the 27th with Shaq making his debut as a Cleveland Cavalier in Boston.
Then on Oct. 30, the Mavericks open at home against the Lakers.
We will soon have what we Texans call "football weather."
You will have to wear a coat to the games on Friday night.
And, of course, it's State Fair time.
That means Texas vs. OU in the Cotton Bowl on Oct. 17.
College basketball teams start practice on Oct. 15.
And it all ends with Halloween.
A stress-free holiday where you don't have to have a family reunion.
This year Halloween falls on Saturday.
How cool is that?
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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