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No thanks to neighbors and National Night Out

I know tonight is National Night Out -- but I'm going to stay in.
I don't want to know my neighbors.
I know Mel, who has been my neighbor to the right for 21 years.
I know Ronnie across the street, who has also been living there ever since I moved in.

Last Sunday, as I was sitting in the recliner watching football, a woman knocked on my door and invited me to some shindig tonight at the Wilson House.
I was polite.
I smiled, took her invitation and then tore it up and threw it in the trash as soon as I shut the door.

I know the neighbors I want to know.
As for the rest of you, leave me alone.
I don't do volleyball or horseshoes or pot luck suppers.
I drink beer, watch TV and eat whatever I want.

I voted Democrat.
There that should scare them off.

I hate family gatherings that involve anybody other than my wife, my son, my daughter, my son-in-law, my stepson and my grandson.
So if I don't want to sit around and talk Cowboys with in-laws and outlaws, what makes you think I want to sit around and talk Cowboys with you and your family?

Once you start knowing a bunch of neighbors, then they put a target on your back.
They start inviting you to their church. No thanks.
Or their cult. No thanks.
Or their civic club. No thanks.

Eventually they will want your e-mail address and start sending you those things you are supposed to forward to 10 friends or die before sundown.

And when their kids have to sell cookie dough or Christmas cards or some other b.s., they feel they have the right to send them to your house.
After all, you are their neighbor.

So I'm skipping the big party tonight.
But nobody will miss me.
How could they?
They don't know me.
Just the way I like it.

Posted by at 8:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)