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Don't invite Ken Green to your pity party
January 28, 2010Before I sat down to write this, I really believed that there is a verse in the Bible in which God promises not to give any of us more than we can handle.
But it ain't there.
Believe me, I looked.
The verse that confused me and probably a lot of others is I Corinathians: 10:13
It says: "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it"
Nowhere in there do you find that the Lord "takes a knee" for us.
Don't believe me. Go ask Job.
The reason I am saying this is Ken Green.
If you don't closely follow the PGA Tour , you probably have not heard of him, but Green was a pretty good player back in the 1980's.
He won five PGA events between 1985 and 1989 and played on the U.S. Ryder Cup team in 1989. He won $3.7 million in his PGA career and had 44 top 10 finishes. When he turned 50, he played a year on the Champions Tour and did pretty well.
But if you ever have a personal pity party, thinking about how bad your own life is, just think about Ken Green.
During his PGA career, he suffered big-time depression. He said he sometimes heard children's voices in his head. He cotemplated suicide.
Then in June of last year, he was traveling in the back of an RV driven by his brother.
A tire blew out. The RV went off the road, down an embankment and crashed into a large tree.
Green's brother and girlfriend died in the accident.
Green's lower right leg had to be amputated.
Then last week, Green's youngest son , 21-year-old Hunter Green, was found dead in his dorm room at SMU.
Parents aren't supposed to bury their kids.
All that in just eight months.
So don't try telling Ken Green that God has promised not to give his more than we can handle.
He has learned that's not true the hard way.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Our president talks a good game, but it's all political B.S.
January 27, 2010Our president is going to talk to us tonight.
I'll be covering MSU basketball and will miss his State of the Union message, but I don't think I'll miss anything. Like always, it will be nothing but a bunch of political B.S.
A year ago I had great hopes for Barack Obama.
I thought this just might be the president that makes a difference.
I wanted to see health care reform.
I wanted to see the return of my middle class that idiot George W. Bush completely erased.
i wanted change.
I haven't seen it.
Now I know that nobody in just one year can completely solve all of the problems brought on by eight awful years.
But to tell you the truth I really haven't seen any improvement.
We are no better off today that we were a year ago.
The right wingers are happy about that.
They look on our misery as a victory for their side.
Political B.S.
Mosty of them are against what Obama plans to say tonight before he even says it.
He could recite the Lord's Prayer and they would start spewing about ACORN or Pelosi or czars or teleprompters or something ridiculous.
Most won't admit it, but these rednecks just can't stand having a black man in "their" White House.
On the other hand, I am not going to cheer for Obama just because he is black or because he is a Democrat.
I want to see change.
Fix the economy.
End stupid wars.
Bring back the middle class.
Or go down in history as a black George W. Bush.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Perry could get better advice down at the pool hall
January 26, 2010Rick Perry isn't going to meet with editorial boards to seek the endorsement of Texas newspapers.
Our gov says he has better ways to spend his time.
Personally, I don't give a rat's ass what the guy does.
Yet at the same time I also don't care what Kay Bailey Hutchsion does either.
Neither will get my vote because I will never again vote for a Republican governor or president.
George W. Bush made sure of that.
But Perry might want to turn to an old pool hall philosopher for some election advice.
"Don't piss off the people who buy ink by the barrel."
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Keys to winning an election; Get a name or get nekid
January 22, 2010The signs followed me all the way to work today.
"Vote for Judge Fudge"
I'm not going to vote for the guy because his opponent, Barry Macha, is a good friend.
But I might bet on him.
With a name like "Judge Fudge," how can you lose?
Sometimes a name is all you need to win an election.
Jesse James served as the Texas state treasurer from 1941 until 1977.
He never lost an election. He left office only because he died.
For 36 years, every Texan knew who the state treasurer was.
Bet you can't tell me right now who is our state treasurer.
If Barney Fudge was Barney Smith, he wouldn't have a chance running against Macha.
But because he is Judge Fudge, it's a good bet he wins on March 2.
If you don't have a strange name like Jesse James or Judge Fudge, then the next best way to win an election is to get nekid.
It worked for Scott Brown in Massachusetts.
This young Republican lawyer will now sit in Ted Kennedy's old Senate seat mainly because he stripped off and was a nekid centerfold in Cosmopolitan magazine.
OK, now tell me who is the current state treasurer in Texas?
That's all right. I didn't know either.
The answer is nobody.
Texas abolished the office in 1996. Those duties now go to the Texas Comptroller of Public Affairs.
Surely you know who that is. Her name is Candy Barr.
Just kidding. It's really Susan Combs.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 7:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
No blog today; the telephone won't let me
January 21, 2010I hate Alexander Graham Bell.
Or at least I do right now.
I am sitting here trying to write some great prose for you, and everyime I get a thought, in my head, the stinking phone rings.
Some people just want to talk.
"Remember back in 1940 when I played for the Coyotes?"
(Uh, no. I was born in 1946.)
Some want to know what time the Super Bowl starts.
This will be a daily annoyance until the game is played on Feb. 7.
Then there is always somebody whose kid had his name misspelled in the paper.
Listen, if you are going to name your little baby boy JON, you are going to have to deal with it.
And for all of you naming your daughgters Tasakeikah or Sharmayeza, the same goes for you.
I wanted to write a really great blog today, but I won't get around to it because this bleeping phone keeps ringing.
There is goes again.
Sorry about that, some redneck without a computer just called. He wants to know if I will read off the complete NASCAR schedule for 2010.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
There is a forgotten victim in the Terri Otto tragedy
January 20, 2010I am going to say goodbye to a good friend today.
Terri Otto was a truly amazing lady.
I am still in shock over her death.
She was only 37.
She leaves behind three children -- one a precious 3-year-old Down's girl.
I pray for the family and friends that will miss her so dearly.
She was special.to all who knew her.
But there is another victim in this tragedy -- a forgotten victim.
I don't know his name.
I don't know his face.
The man driving the truck that hit and killed my friend on a wet, foggy, Saturday morning will have to live with this for the rest of his life.
It wasn't his fault.
He didn't run away. In fact, I have been told that he called 911 and did all he could do to help at the scene of the accident.
So when you get on your knees tonight to pray for the husband, the children and all the family and friends that mourn the death of this wonderful lady -- please join me and say a prayer for the forgotten victim in this story.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Cowboys surrendered early with gutless call
January 19, 2010The Dallas Cowboys' 2009 season officially came to an end on an 8-yard run by Felix Jones on Sunday.
But in my opinion, it ended much, much earlier.
Like on the Cowboys' second drive of the game.
With 5:53 left in the first quarter, shaky Shaun Suisham lined up to try a 48-yard field goal -- I saw the white flag waving from the Cowboys' sideline.
The score was 0-0 and Dallas was already surrendering.
It was third-and-1 at the Vikings 30.
Time to make a statement.
Time to show Minnesota that you are the champion of the toughest division in the NFL.
Time to show that you are the team that just a month before put on big knot on the Saints' heads and a big 1 in their loss column with a 24-17 in the Superdome.
Time to show the Vikings who's boss.
Time to go for it.
Instead Wade Phillips was a big wussy.
He watched shaky Suisham hook the kick to the left.
To me, the season ended on that one dumb ass decision.
It was never a game after that.
This was not the Cowboys' team we had seen win four straight games and look like a Super Bowl contender.
This was a 34-3 embarrassment.
And for all of you people out there whining because Brett Favre rubbed it in the Cowboys' faces by throwing that final touchdown pass instead of taking a knee -- shut up,.
Most of America didn't even see Favre's 11-yard TD pass to tight end Visanthe Shiancoe on the first play after the two-minute warning.
We turned this mismatch off long before then.
That's because it really ended with that gutless call in the first quarter.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Agreeing with Jeffress: A Sign of the Apocalypse?
January 15, 2010Hell must have frozen over today.
Robert Jeffress and I agree on something.
It must be a Sign of the Apocalypse
Bobby J. -- the former pope of the First Baptist Cathederal in Hooterville Falls -- thinks Pat Robertson was goofy when he said the earthquake in Haiti was the result of a deal that the Haitians made with the Devil.
It was the stupidest thing I had heard since the TV evangelist blamed 9-11 on abortion.
Or when he said that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's debilitating stroke was God's retribution for Israel ceding land to the Palestinians.
Or when he said that Hurricane Katrina was God's punishment on New Orleans for having so many titty bars and gay rights parades.
Pope Bob -- who is now in charge of of the collection plate at First Baptist Church of Dallas, stopped short of calling Robertson a goofball -- probably because of that plank in his own eye -- but he did take exception to his Let's Make a Deal with the Devil remark.
"It is absolute arrogance to try to interpret any of God's actions as a judgment against this person or that person. ... Our duty as Christians is to try to help these people pray for these people and to help them," Jeffress said.
I agree.
I also don't believe that AIDS is God's judgment on homosexuals.
Let's see, who did I hear say that?
Let's all agree on one thing: Pray for Haiti.
.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Blowing up Texas Stadium to be a cheesy show
January 14, 2010It's now official -- Texas Stadium will be blown up on April 11.
Kabooooooooooooooooom -- goodbye to the former home of the Dallas Cowboys.
I spent 33 years of my life covering football games at this place.
I saw the Coyotes and San Antonio Lee play the first high school game there.
I saw all five of the Cowboys' Super Bowl champions play there.
I was there when Roger Staubach had his emotional retirement press conference.
But forget the sentimental crap -- this old landmark is prime real estate.
Money talks. BS walks.
Texas Stadium has to go.
I understand that.
But does it have to be a commercial event?
Somehow the Kraft company got invovled with this implosion and is using it to promote a new kind of macroni and cheese.
Kraft is now running a contest in which "one dynamite kid" will be chosen to push the button that detonates this 39-year-old stadium, known best for the hole in its roof.
So some kid who has never even heard of Tom Landry or Tex Schramm or Roger Staubach will blow the place up.
All to promote the launching of the Cheddar Explosion -- the newest Kraft macaroni and cheese that will hit the shelves early this year.
The lucky kid must be between 9 and 12 and enter "a story about a positive explosive impact they have made to better their community."
When I was a kid between 9 and 12, I didn't give a rat's ass about bettering my community. All I wanted to to was play ball and see nekid girls.
But wasn't playing ball and looking a partially nekid cheerleaders what we went to Texas Stadum for anyway?
Posted by Nick Gholson at 7:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Thumbs up to Brit Hume; thumbs down to Harry Reid
January 13, 2010Some knucklehead mailed me a comment this week pointing out my "left wing bias."
I took the "left wing" part as a compliment.
It's the "bias" part that he got wrong.
If I were really biased, I would agree with everything the left wingers do and oppose everything the right wingers do.
In other words, I would be Fox News in reverse.
That's just not me.
What I want us to be is to be is a country guided at all times by the Golden Rule.
And I am talking about the Golden Rule that says "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Not the one that says "those that have the gold make all the rules."
That said, I want to commend Brit Hume for boldly speaking up for Christianity. The Fox News senior political analyst said was that the only way Tiger Woods can find true forgiveness is through Jesus Christ.
I totally agree.
All Hume did is what Jesus told all believers to do.
Matthew 28: 19-20:
"Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world."
While I agree with Hume, I was totally shocked to read the racial comments of Sen. Harry Reid.
It is scary to me to think that a man who holds the powerful position of Senate majority leader in this country could be so ignorant.
Reid's left-wing buddies have been quick to forgive him.
But if he wants true forgiveness, he should give Brit Hume a call.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
I'm a journalist; I don't fix cars, hearts or hamburgers
January 11, 2010I don't want my heart doctor fixing my car.
I don't want a mechanic fixing my heart.
I don't want my barber cooking my lunch.
I don't want a cook cutting my hair.
My chosen profession was journalism.
Believe me -- you don't want me fixing your car, your heart, your hair or your hamburger.
At the same time, I don't want every person with a lap top writing newspaper editorials.
Nor do I think jocks should pretend to be TV journalists.
Years ago this newspaper started something called the "community editorial board." The purpose was to give a couple of non-newspaper people in town a chance to write opinion pieces for our editorial page.
We were supposed to alternate these every few monhts, but for some reason have had the same two guys for a long, long time.
Maybe the fact that they are both right-wingers makes it seem longer than it is -- I'm not sure.
It seems like if we are going to do this, we should have two people with different political views and not a couple of Fox News bobble heads.
But I am not here today to disagree with the Republican views of Larry Petrash or Mark Levy.
My complaint is with the writing style of Petrash.
His editorial in Sunday's paper began with a 54-world sentence.
Now I have heard of college basketball players who have written term themes using just one period, but they did not disguise them as journalism.
Petrash did.
His opening sentenc had seven verbs.
I fell asleep on the 22nd word.
How many people died and how many babies were born in this world while you were reading this one sentence?
Then later in the day I am watching Dan Marino interview Kurt Warner in the CBS' pre-game NFL show.
During the interview, Marino said "You could have went --------
I did not hear the rest of the sentence.
The "have went" blew me away.
I learned basic grammar fifth grade at Austin School.
Marino went to college at PIttsburgh. The guy can throw a football, but he still can't speak English.
Don't these guys have editors?
Well, they are supposed to, but when I seen or hear stuff like this, I just figure the editors aren't journalists either.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Happy 75th birthday, Elvis
January 8, 2010Today is Elvis' 75th birthday.
So why are the banks open? Why do we get mail? Why the hell did we have to come to work?
Christopher Columbus has a holiday.
St. Patrick has one.
Every president we have ever had -- including that idiot George W. Bush -- has a day that is recognized as a holiday.
Some of the observances we have on Jan. 8 include:
Bubble Bath Day.
Learn to Ski Day.
National English Toffee Day.
Midwife's Day.
National Joy Germ Today.
And -- Show and Tell Day at Work.
But no Elvis Day.
That's a shame.
Instead of putting the 75th birthday of Elvis on the front page of the Times Record News today, our decision-makers chose to banner our worthless representative Mac Bleeping Thornberry.
God help us.
So in this tiny little never-read blog of mine, I will honor Elvis Aron Presley -- the King of Rock and Roll.
Just about every guy my age has at one time or another stood in front of a mirror and pretended he was Elvis. Come on -- admit it.
We all wanted that hair and those sideburns.
We all wanted that money.
We all wanted to do Ann Margaret.
My top 10 Elvis songs:
1. Teddy Bear.
2. Don't Be Cruel.
3. Jailhouse Rock
4. Heartbreak Hotel
5. Are You Lonesome Tonight
6. I Want You, I Need You, I Love You
7. An American Trilogy
8. Love Me
9. Viva Las Vegas
10.How Great Thou Art
My worst Elvis Song: "In the Ghetto"
My 10 favorite Elvis movies:
1. Viva Las Vegas
2. King Creole
3. Jailhouse Rock
4. GI Blues
5. Girls, Girls, Girls
6. Love Me Tender
7. Girl Happy
8. Loving You
9. Kid Galahad
10. Blue Hawaii
My worst Elvis movie: Harum Scarum
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Happy birthday, Tommy G
January 7, 2010Happy birthday, Thomas Gholson.
My baby boy turns 34 today.
Those of you who know me are probably surprised to hear that.
I mean, how can a man in his mid-40s have a son who's 34?
Hey, girls, I wasn't lying when I told you I was 42.
I just gave my waist size instead of my age.
Thomas is a chip off the old block.
He is smart, good-looking and witty just like his daddy.
He is also an MSU graduate -- just like me.
We will party for awhile at On the Border tonight, then head to my house to watch Texas whip Alabama's crimson butt.
Happy birthday, son.
Go, Longhorns.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
I am loved by lunatics and perverts; Which one are you?
January 6, 2010
I was once a guest on a local radio sports talk show -- which aired every night at 6 p.m. The problem was after sundown, the signal was so weak, it couldn't be heard outside the station's parking lot.
I figured out that nobody was listening when the trivia question for the night was "What is you name?" and nobody won.
Sometimes I feel the same about this blog.
Is anybody out there reading this stuff?
I say that because I get very few comments.
So I was quite surprised recently when three comments showed up in my e-mail box one morning. They were from Tomi Hutcheson, Fiona Bernon and Trent Schlichter.
Tomi, Fiona and Trent are big fans of mine; Here are their comments:
Tomi: "Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon."
Fiona: "You made some good points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree with your blog."
Trent: "Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon."
Hold on. Did you notice that what Tomi and Trent wrote were real similar? Like in word-for-word similar?
OK, I am smart enough to figure out that this is "junk" mail, but why then does it not go into my "Junk" box?
The "Five tips to fresh holiday breath" e-mail went there.
It was joined by the "Plastic envelopes look better all the time" one and the December newsletter from Barney's Limo Service.
I notice that Fiona's e-mail address was el_guapo_loco@yahoo.com
El Guapo Loco translates "The good-looking lunatic."
Nice to know lunatics love me.
While I was writing this, another comment popped up in my e-mail box.
It reads: "Hi from austria, good blog. i'll come back next week to see what's new."
Signed: Cul Gratuit
I "Googled" Cul Gratuit and found a whole bunch of porn sites.
Not only do the lunatics love me, so do the perverts.
Which one are you?
Posted by Nick Gholson at 7:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
White Christmas? Bah, humbug!
January 4, 2010A white Christmas was high on my bucket list.
I had been dreaming of one for 63 years.
But after Christmas 2009 -- I never, ever want to see another one again.
I don't need Frosty the Snowman in my front yard.
I don't want chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
From now on, give me sunshine and 70 degrees on Christmas Day.
Maybe take the family to Vegas.
I never want to hear Bing Crosby sing "White Christmas" again.
Posted by Nick Gholson at 8:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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